Mothering and mental illnessMothering and mental illness
All In The Mind
Having children can be wonderful but there’s no doubt that parenting can be challenging, especially for women with mental illness. We hear about the lives of mothers diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder—it’s a disorder defined by extreme emotional instability and is surrounded by stigma. The treatment can make a real difference to the wellbeing of families.
32:03•2 Sept 2018
Mothering with Borderline Personality Disorder: Chaos, Care and Change
Episode Overview
- A clear diagnosis of borderline personality disorder can bring relief and direction for mothers who have long struggled with intense emotions.
- Borderline personality disorder and addiction can make early parenting feel unsafe and overwhelming, but support and treatment can change family dynamics.
- Mother-Infant DBT adapts established DBT skills to everyday parenting situations, helping mothers stay calmer and more reflective with their babies.
- Early intervention may reduce the intergenerational impact of a parent’s emotional instability on children’s attachment and later mental health.
- Challenging stigma and talking openly about diagnoses helps parents seek help and focus on creating safer, more loving environments for their children.
“"Being able to be a parent and not have to walk away from it or pick up drugs again... that was a real turning point for me."”
Experience the emotional and inspiring tales of recovery as this episode of All In The Mind turns to the messy, beautiful, and often frightening mix of motherhood and serious mental illness. Perinatal and infant psychiatrist Dr Anne Sved Williams shares decades of work with mothers and babies at Helen Mayo House in Adelaide, where she noticed a striking pattern: many new mothers were living with borderline personality disorder (BPD).
She explains BPD in plain language, talking about "difficulties with emotional dysregulation" and how mood swings, anger, impulsive behaviour and suicidal thinking can make everyday parenting feel overwhelming. You’ll hear from Sonia, a single mum of twin boys, who reached crisis point when her anger began spilling over onto her children.
For her, finally getting a diagnosis was a relief: "When you put a label on something, it makes it a lot easier to deal with." Emma, who had a long history of mental health issues and serious drug and alcohol addiction before pregnancy, describes how motherhood both stabilised her and pushed her to seek proper help. A key focus is the Mother-Infant DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) program that Anne and her team developed.
It adapts established DBT skills—mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness—to fit everyday parenting moments with babies and toddlers. Emma calls it "not an understatement to say that it was life-changing", crediting the skills with helping her stay present with her son, ride out toddler meltdowns and avoid returning to drugs. The episode also touches on research into how a mother’s emotional instability can affect attachment and behaviour in children, and how early interventions may soften those intergenerational impacts.
Throughout, stigma is tackled head-on, with Sonia stating firmly that there’s "no shame" in having a diagnosis and that education is key. If you’ve ever wondered how mums facing BPD, addiction and trauma keep showing up for their kids, this conversation might spark fresh hope and some practical ideas.
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