Calvin C Williams, LPC
Calvin C Williams, LPC
S3, Episode 12: "I Don't Understand": The Hidden Language of Defensiveness
S3, Episode 12: "I Don't Understand": The Hidden Language of Defensiveness
S3, Episode 12: "I Don't Understand": The Hidden Language of Defensiveness
Tuesday 20th May 2025
Explore how 'I don't understand' hides deeper emotions and learn to replace defensiveness with curiosity for better connections.
Explicit
17 minutes
Informative
Inspiring
Supportive
Engaging
Compassionate
About this podcast
Author:
Calvin C Williams, LPC
Overview:
Categories:
Sobriety Toolkit
Mindfulness & Emotional Wellbeing
Entrepreneurship for Personal Growth
Sexual Empowerment & Identity
Spiritual & Personal Growth Journeys
Links:
Visit site
Episodes:
53 (View all)
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!Breaking Down Defensiveness: Finding Connection Through Curiosity
Episode Overview
- Defensiveness often masks deeper emotions like fear or disappointment.
- "I don't understand" can be replaced with more open phrases like "Help me see this from your side."
- Emotional intelligence helps shift from defensive reactions to thoughtful responses.
- John Gottman's research identifies four toxic communication patterns to avoid.
- Practical strategies for enhancing relationships through better communication.
"Curiosity is the antidote to conflict."
Calvin Williams, the seasoned Licensed Professional Counselor, takes a deep dive into the curious phrase "I don't understand" in this episode of The Counselor's Couch. It's not just about misunderstanding; it's about the emotional barriers we build when we're feeling vulnerable. Williams, with his signature blend of empathy and humour, unpacks how this seemingly simple statement often acts as a shield against deeper emotions like disappointment or fear. The episode explores how replacing defensiveness with curiosity can transform conversations.
Drawing from Jefferson Fisher's insights on emotional leadership, Calvin highlights the power of leaning into curiosity rather than retreating into defensive postures. The episode encourages you to swap "I don't understand" with "Help me see this from your side", fostering genuine dialogue and connection. Williams also delves into John Gottman's research on toxic communication patterns, including criticism and stonewalling, and offers antidotes to these pitfalls.
By embracing emotional intelligence, as outlined by Daniel Goleman, you can shift from reacting defensively to responding thoughtfully. For anyone who's ever found themselves in a tense conversation wondering how to break down those walls of defensiveness, this episode is a treasure trove of practical advice. So, if you're ready to transform your communication skills and enhance your relationships, this session is a must-listen. Why not pull up a cushion and see how a little curiosity can change everything?