Shitshow Saturday #198 - The Return of Nate

Shitshow Saturday #198 - The Return of Nate

What drives someone to seek a life that actually feels like their own after growing up in chaos? This Shitshow Saturday catch-up brings Nate back to share how much has shifted since his first chat with Andrea back in January 2025. Across the conversation, you'll hear Nate talk honestly about moving from pure survival mode into something that looks a lot like real peace.

His new mantra, "childhood was hard, but now I have options," runs through everything he shares – from changing therapists to trying yoga and even joining a Unitarian church that better matches his values. A big theme here is Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Nate walks through how meeting his "inner critic" and "external judge" helped him understand why he pushed himself so hard yet always felt small.

He describes a light-hearted but powerful "retirement party" for those parts – complete with printed certificates and ice cream cupcakes – and how that small ritual marked a huge emotional shift. "I've done more in the last five months than I had done in 15 years," he says, and it doesn’t sound like an exaggeration.

He also talks about finally accessing his anger after years of being the compliant kid who wasn’t allowed to be upset, and how writing and reading a no-send letter out loud became a turning point. You’ll hear how that work has changed his marriage, his relationship with work and travel, and his decision to step back from a one-sided relationship with his mum.

This is a conversation for anyone who grew up in dysfunction, feels guilty for setting boundaries, or wonders if deep therapeutic work is worth the emotional hangover. Nate doesn’t pretend it’s easy, but he makes healing feel possible, messy, and even a bit funny at times. What parts of you might be ready for their own retirement party?