Counsellor A.J. Mahari
A.J. Mahari
7 Reasons Why BPD Relationships Fail
7 Reasons Why BPD Relationships Fail
7 Reasons Why BPD Relationships Fail
Thursday 14th August 2025
Explore the emotional patterns behind BPD relationship breakups with A.J. Mahari's compassionate insights.
28 minutes
Informative
Compassionate
Hopeful
Supportive
Educational
About this podcast
Author:
Counsellor A.J. Mahari
Overview:
Categories:
Healing Relationships
Navigating Intimate Relationships
Recovery from Trauma
Navigating Challenges in Recovery
Navigating Alcohol Dependency
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Episodes:
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Get the buttons here!Why BPD Relationships Often End in Heartbreak
Episode Overview
- Understand the unstable attachment cycle in BPD relationships.
- Learn about the emotional volatility characteristic of BPD.
- Discover how identity shifts affect relationship stability.
- Recognise the impact of black-and-white thinking on partnerships.
- Explore the importance of mutuality and reciprocity for lasting love.
"Love alone can't stabilise a bond that's being tugged in two directions at once."
Ever wondered why relationships with someone who has untreated Borderline Personality Disorder often end in heartbreak? In this episode, A.J. Mahari, a seasoned counsellor and trauma recovery coach, breaks down the seven reasons these relationships falter. Mahari provides a compassionate yet clear explanation of the emotional patterns that can make love feel both intense and unstable. She emphasises that love alone isn't enough to keep these relationships alive without healing and change.
The episode starts by exploring the unstable attachment cycle, where fears of abandonment and engulfment pull individuals with BPD in opposite directions. Mahari paints a vivid picture of how this constant push-pull pattern leads to emotional withdrawal and rejection. She then tackles the emotional volatility characteristic of BPD, highlighting how intense emotional dysregulation can leave partners walking on eggshells.
Identity shifts are another key factor discussed, with Mahari explaining how a fragile sense of self in individuals with BPD can lead to dramatic changes in their feelings towards their partners. The episode also covers black-and-white thinking, where people are perceived as either all good or all bad, leading to catastrophic ruptures in relationships. Mahari delves into how untreated BPD can result in projective dynamics, where partners become stand-ins for past abusers, creating a stage for replaying old trauma.
She also points out that BPD relationships often operate in constant crisis mode, wearing down both partners' nervous systems. The episode concludes with the importance of mutuality and reciprocity in relationships, which are often absent in untreated BPD partnerships. Mahari encourages those affected to seek healing and self-understanding, reminding them that love needs stability and trust to survive.
If you're navigating the complexities of a BPD relationship or its aftermath, this episode offers valuable insights and hope for reclaiming your peace.