Counsellor A.J. Mahari
A.J. Mahari
BPD Love is a Reverse Fairytale
BPD Love is a Reverse Fairytale
BPD Love is a Reverse Fairytale
Sunday 24th August 2025
Explore the dynamics of BPD relationships as A.J. Mahari explains why they feel like reverse fairytales. Discover how to heal from emotional devastation.
19 minutes
Informative
Compassionate
Eye-opening
Supportive
Healing
About this podcast
Author:
Counsellor A.J. Mahari
Overview:
Categories:
Healing Relationships
Navigating Intimate Relationships
Recovery from Trauma
Navigating Challenges in Recovery
Navigating Alcohol Dependency
Links:
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Episodes:
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Episode Overview
- BPD relationships often start intensely but end traumatically.
- Initial enchantment isn't genuine intimacy.
- Idealisation flips into devaluation.
- Fantasy bonds create trauma-bonded illusions.
- Healing begins when you embrace reality.
"The moment you stop trying to turn a broken story into a happy ending is the moment you begin to take an action step toward your healing arc."
A.J. Mahari brings her expertise as a counsellor and trauma recovery coach to this episode, titled "BPD Love is a Reverse Fairytale". With over 30 years of experience, Mahari dives into the perplexing dynamics of relationships involving individuals with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). You might be wondering why these relationships often start with a bang and end with a whimper. Mahari likens them to a reverse fairytale, where the magic fades, leaving behind emotional devastation.
Imagine a fairytale where Cinderella's charm and innocence captivate the prince from the start, only to have him disillusioned by chapter three. Mahari explores how the initial enchantment in BPD relationships isn't genuine intimacy but rather an intense idealisation that flips into devaluation. This episode explains how the whirlwind romance can turn traumatic, with idealisation giving way to accusations and misunderstanding. Mahari also touches on the concept of the fantasy bond versus real love.
She emphasises that what feels like love is often a trauma-bonded illusion, driven by fear and intermittent reinforcement. The cycle of intensity and rupture can leave you feeling trapped in a loop, akin to rereading the same chapter with false hope. This episode is perfect for anyone trying to make sense of a relationship that felt magical but unravelled into chaos.
Mahari encourages you to wake up to your own story and unmet needs, suggesting that healing begins when you let go of the fantasy and embrace reality. If you're grappling with heartbreak from a BPD relationship, this episode offers insights and guidance on writing a new story—one that's grounded in truth and self-awareness. Why listen? Because understanding these dynamics could be your first step towards healing and finding peace in your own narrative.