Counsellor A.J. Mahari
A.J. Mahari
Enmeshed in a BPD Relatioship? 5 Codependent Hooks Fueling Cycles
Enmeshed in a BPD Relatioship? 5 Codependent Hooks Fueling Cycles
Enmeshed in a BPD Relatioship? 5 Codependent Hooks Fueling Cycles
Sunday 24th August 2025
Explore five codependent hooks in BPD relationships with A.J. Mahari. Learn how to break free and reclaim your identity.
17 minutes
Informative
Supportive
Compassionate
Healing
Educational
About this podcast
Author:
Counsellor A.J. Mahari
Overview:
Categories:
Healing Relationships
Navigating Intimate Relationships
Recovery from Trauma
Navigating Challenges in Recovery
Navigating Alcohol Dependency
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Episodes:
177 (View all)
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Get the buttons here!Breaking Free: Understanding Codependent Hooks in BPD Relationships
Episode Overview
- Understand the saviour hook and its impact on self-worth.
- Recognise self-abandonment patterns in relationships.
- Identify enmeshment dynamics and loss of identity.
- Distinguish between intensity and genuine connection.
- Break free from fantasy hooks and reclaim your life.
"It's not your fault that these patterns formed, but now you have a sacred responsibility to come home to yourself."
Relationships with individuals who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can often feel like a roller coaster of emotions, leaving you wondering why you can't let go even when it's hurting you. In this episode of 'Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups', A.J. Mahari unpacks the psychological hooks that keep you tied to these intense dynamics. With 30 years of experience in trauma recovery and codependency, Mahari sheds light on five key hooks that fuel cycles of enmeshment in BPD relationships.
The episode kicks off with the 'Saviour Hook', where you might feel responsible for healing the person with BPD, tying your worth to their needs. Mahari explains how this pattern, often rooted in childhood, can turn into a full-time job of trying to fix and rescue them. Then there's the 'Self-Abandonment Hook', where keeping the peace means silencing your own needs and walking on eggshells to avoid conflict.
Mahari continues with the 'Enmeshment Hook', where your emotions become intertwined with theirs, blurring boundaries and erasing your identity. This hook makes you believe that your happiness depends on theirs, leading to a loss of self. The 'Intensity Hook' follows, highlighting how the highs and lows of a BPD relationship can mimic past trauma, confusing chaos with love.
Finally, the 'Fantasy Hook' keeps you holding onto who you thought they were, or who they could be, trapping you in cycles of false hope and waiting. Mahari's insights offer a pathway to reclaiming your life by breaking free from these patterns and rebuilding boundaries. If you're seeking clarity on why you're stuck in these cycles or how to start setting yourself free, this episode offers practical advice and compassionate understanding.
Dive into this engaging discussion to explore how you can break these hooks and find your way back to yourself.