Jacqueline Trumbull and Kibby McMahon
Jacqueline Trumbull and Kibby McMahon
Enabling: When Helping Our Loved Ones Makes Things Worse
Enabling: When Helping Our Loved Ones Makes Things Worse
Enabling: When Helping Our Loved Ones Makes Things Worse
Wednesday 20th August 2025
Explore how enabling can harm rather than help loved ones with mental health challenges and learn strategies for setting healthy boundaries.
57 minutes
informative
challenging
supportive
empathetic
About this podcast
Author:
Jacqueline Trumbull and Kibby McMahon
Overview:
Categories:
Recovery from Trauma
Sobriety Toolkit
Healing Relationships
Navigating Intimate Relationships
Relationships & Community
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Episodes:
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Get the buttons here!When Helping Hurts: The Complexity of Enabling
Episode Overview
- Enabling can unintentionally reinforce negative behaviors.
- Setting boundaries is crucial in supporting loved ones effectively.
- Community support platforms offer guidance and shared experiences.
- Understanding enabling behaviors is key to preventing them.
- Craft method offers alternative approaches to family support.
Enabling sounds so like you did it, but unintentionally reinforce is like, I accidentally made it easier or made it better.
In this episode of 'A Little Help For Our Friends,' host Kibby McMahon tackles the intricate and often misunderstood concept of enabling, especially in the context of mental health and addiction. Enabling, often seen negatively, refers to actions that, while well-intentioned, can inadvertently support and prolong unhealthy behaviors. Kibby shares her insights from ongoing training in Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT), which aims to equip loved ones with strategies to support individuals with addiction without enabling them.
Listeners are introduced to the idea of unintentional reinforcement, a less judgmental term than enabling. This concept acknowledges that actions meant to help may counterproductively encourage the very behaviors they aim to curb. For instance, making excuses for a loved one or protecting them from the consequences of their actions can inadvertently reinforce their harmful habits. Kibby emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries.
She discusses how boundary-setting can be challenging yet essential for both the individual offering support and the person receiving it. Through her platform Kula Mind, Kibby provides a community space for individuals to learn and share experiences about setting boundaries and breaking free from enabling cycles. The episode also examines real-life examples, illustrating how enabling can manifest in various forms and why it is crucial to recognize these patterns.
Kibby suggests focusing on positive reinforcement when loved ones exhibit desirable behaviors, thus shifting the focus from what not to do to what can be done to promote recovery. Ultimately, Kibby advocates for a balanced approach where the safety and well-being of both parties are prioritized, acknowledging that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. The episode encourages listeners to explore these dynamics within their relationships and seek community support where needed.