Counsellor A.J. Mahari

Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

A.J. Mahari

  • Quiet BPD 10 Reasons Why It Dsstroys Relationships

Quiet BPD 10 Reasons Why It Dsstroys Relationships

Monday 8th September 2025

A.J. Mahari explains why Quiet BPD can silently destroy relationships with hidden turmoil and substance abuse.
36 minutes
Informative
Eye-opening
Authentic
Compassionate
Inspiring

About this podcast

Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups
Author:
Counsellor A.J. Mahari
Overview:
Categories:
Healing Relationships
Navigating Intimate Relationships
Recovery from Trauma
Navigating Challenges in Recovery
Navigating Alcohol Dependency
Links:
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Why Quiet BPD is a Relationship Wrecker

Episode Overview

  • Quiet BPD symptoms are internalised, making them hard to detect.
  • Substance abuse is a common coping mechanism for emotional pain.
  • Withdrawal can feel like abandonment to partners.
  • Perfectionism hides underlying shame and self-loathing.
  • Recognising subtle patterns is key to understanding Quiet BPD.
"Quiet doesn't mean safe; it means destruction is hidden until it eventually breaks through."
Ever wondered why relationships with someone who has Quiet BPD can feel like a rollercoaster, even if the ride seems smooth? A.J. Mahari, a seasoned counsellor and trauma recovery coach, unpacks ten reasons why Quiet BPD wreaks havoc on relationships. Quiet BPD, also known as the Discouraged BPD Subtype, is often misunderstood because its symptoms are internalised rather than externalised. Partners might mistake the signs for excessive drinking or mood swings, not realising the deeper issues at play.
Mahari explains how Quiet BPD involves internalised anger, withdrawal as a form of abandonment, and masking pain through perfectionism. This episode is a deep dive into the hidden turmoil faced by those with Quiet BPD and how these patterns can silently erode trust and intimacy in relationships.
Mahari shares insights on how Quiet BPD can lead to substance abuse as a way to cope with emotional pain, making it all the more challenging for partners to understand what's really going on. With humour and empathy, Mahari discusses the false sense of stability created by Quiet BPD and why it's crucial for partners to recognise these subtle yet destructive patterns.
If you've ever felt confused or lonely in a relationship with someone who seems fine on the surface but struggles internally, this episode offers valuable perspectives. Could recognising these signs be the key to healthier relationships?
Listen in to find out.
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