Lee Davy
Lee Davy
Trying to Be AFAF but Your Relationship Is a Mess? Start Here
Trying to Be AFAF but Your Relationship Is a Mess? Start Here
Trying to Be AFAF but Your Relationship Is a Mess? Start Here
Sunday 22nd June 2025
Explore how unresolved relationship wounds fuel alcohol use and learn about self-led living in this insightful podcast episode.
14 minutes
Informative
Honest
Supportive
Compassionate
Engaging
About this podcast
Author:
Lee Davy
Overview:
Categories:
Sobriety Toolkit
Sexual Empowerment & Identity
Creative Recovery Journeys
Mindfulness & Emotional Wellbeing
Understanding Addiction & Recovery
Links:
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Episodes:
197 (View all)
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Get the buttons here!Unpacking Relationship Chaos: Alcohol's Hidden Mirror
Episode Overview
- Your relationship with alcohol mirrors your relationship dynamics.
- Unresolved emotional wounds can fuel alcohol use.
- Three relationship models affect alcohol habits: imbalanced, 50-50, and 80-80.
- Self-led living involves personal integrity and communication.
- Improving relationship patterns can reduce alcohol dependence.
Your relationship with alcohol is often a reflection of your relationship with relationships itself.
Relationships can often feel like a battleground, especially when you're striving to be alcohol-free and feeling stuck in a tense dynamic with your partner. In this episode of the 1000 Days Sober Podcast, Lee Davy tackles the intricate link between relationship struggles and alcohol use. With over 15 years of experience, Lee shares how unresolved emotional wounds can quietly fuel the desire to drink.
You might find yourself reaching for a drink to cope with relationship stress, but Lee suggests that this is more about legacy burdens than love. Lee introduces three relationship models that many people find themselves trapped in: the imbalanced model, the transactional 50-50 model, and the aspirational 80-80 model. Each model comes with its own challenges and influences on alcohol use.
The imbalanced model often leads to feelings of superiority and control, while the 50-50 model can become a score-keeping nightmare that drains intimacy. The 80-80 model, however, encourages mutual growth and emotional lifting. Throughout the episode, Lee emphasises the importance of self-led living and taking responsibility for one's own emotional health. He uses metaphors like a tennis court to illustrate the need for personal integrity and communication.
If your partner isn't ready to meet you halfway, Lee advises knowing when to walk away. Listeners are invited to reflect on their own relationship patterns and consider how they might lead from self-integrity. By cleaning up one’s relationship with alcohol, you might find that your relationship dynamics improve too.
So if you're tired of feeling trapped in relationship chaos and want to explore how these dynamics impact your alcohol use, this episode might just be what you need to start making changes.