The Empty Chair Podcast
The Empty Chair Podcast
When Love Feels Unsafe: Understanding Disorganized Attachment
When Love Feels Unsafe: Understanding Disorganized Attachment
When Love Feels Unsafe: Understanding Disorganized Attachment
Thursday 22nd May 2025
Explore disorganized attachment with Sakera E. Lane as she shares insights on healing and understanding complex relationships.
9 minutes
Informative
Compassionate
Supportive
Encouraging
Healing
About this podcast
Author:
The Empty Chair Podcast
Overview:
Categories:
Mindfulness & Emotional Wellbeing
Mindful Recovery
Sexual Stigmas & Myths
Spiritual & Personal Growth Journeys
Healing Relationships
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Episodes:
13 (View all)
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Get the buttons here!The Tug-of-War Between Love and Fear: Understanding Disorganized Attachment
Episode Overview
- Understand the roots of disorganized attachment in childhood trauma.
- Learn to identify real-life signs of disorganized attachment.
- Discover steps to heal through awareness and safe relationships.
- Explore techniques for regulating the nervous system.
- Find out how re-parenting your inner child can aid in healing.
"I want love, but I don't know how to keep it. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to just drop."
Ever felt like your heart is a tug-of-war between wanting closeness and fearing it? You're not alone. In this episode of The Empty Chair, Sakera E. Lane, a licensed professional counsellor, takes a deep dive into the tangled web of disorganized attachment. This attachment style often leaves adults feeling like they're on an emotional rollercoaster, swinging between connection and isolation. Sakera sheds light on how disorganized attachment forms during childhood when caregivers are both comforting and frightening.
Imagine a child who sees their caregiver as a safe haven one moment and a source of fear the next. This unpredictable environment can lead to adults who struggle with emotional regulation, identity confusion, and relationships that feel like a minefield. You'll hear about real-life signs of disorganized attachment—like rapid shifts between clinging and withdrawing or feeling overwhelmed by your own reactions. But don't worry, Sakera doesn't leave you hanging.
She offers a roadmap for healing, starting with building awareness without shame. It's about getting curious about your reactions rather than judging them. Sakera encourages finding safe, consistent relationships and regulating your nervous system through small practices like breath work or yoga. She also talks about the importance of re-parenting your inner child and practising emotional literacy. Her message is clear: healing is possible, but it requires patience, trust, and a whole lot of self-compassion.
If you've ever felt torn between love and fear, this episode is a must-listen. It's packed with practical advice and heartfelt encouragement that might just be the gentle nudge you need to start your healing journey.