013: Leif H. "Life on Leif's terms" shares his 15 yr story of addiction, drug abuse and alcoholism until he finds recovery!013: Leif H. "Life on Leif's terms" shares his 15 yr story of addiction, drug abuse and alcoholism until he finds recovery!
The SHAIR Recovery Podcast
Leif H. recounts his journey from early drug use and heavy cocaine addiction to checking himself into a harsh Costa Rican rehab and committing to 12-step recovery. He reflects on isolation, shame, sponsorship and how simple suggestions helped him build a family, career and more than a decade clean.
47:28•12 May 2015
Life on Leif’s Terms: From Cocaine Chaos to 11 Years Clean
Episode Overview
- Early exposure to drugs and alcohol in a permissive environment can normalise heavy use long before adulthood.
- Geographical moves and new jobs do not solve addiction; the same patterns follow until the core problem is addressed.
- Access to low-cost rehab and volunteer-led support can be enough to start recovery, even without expensive treatment centres.
- Thorough step work with a sponsor, regular meetings and service roles provide structure that helps maintain long-term abstinence.
- Simple guidance like “no matter what, don’t pick up” and staying involved even when you hate it can keep you clean through difficult times.
“No matter what, don’t pick up.”
What remarkable journeys have people faced head-on against addiction? Here, Leif H. lays out 15 years of drug abuse and alcoholism with a brutal honesty that many find hard to put into words. Now 38 and more than a decade clean, Leif starts by describing his life today: a steady marketing job, marriage, a four-year-old son, exercise, surfing and skateboarding squeezed in where he can, and regular 12-step meetings.
It’s a far cry from the days he describes as “one big cycle of pain”, driven by cocaine, marijuana, alcohol and anything else he could get his hands on. He talks about first getting high around nine years old, growing up in Costa Rica in a culture where casual drug use was normal and even lightly encouraged at home. University in California brought hallucinogens, ecstasy and, eventually, heavy cocaine use.
Despite graduating with honours, his addiction kept escalating, especially after he moved back to Costa Rica and into the online gaming and sportsbook industry, where, as he puts it, “my whole life was morally reprehensible.” Leif shares how isolation, depression, nosebleeds, physical collapse and a total loss of self-worth pushed him towards rehab. A friend’s recovery and a late-night voicemail from another friend heading to treatment finally nudged him into checking himself into a low-cost, harsh-condition facility called Aserpa.
There, he realised “the problem wasn’t the drugs. It was really me.” The episode also follows his early 12-step work, intense sponsorship, and the practical suggestion that stuck: “No matter what, don’t pick up.” Over time, he rebuilt his health, finances, relationships and sense of purpose, while staying connected to meetings and service.
If you’re wondering whether rehab, meetings or sponsorship are worth the hassle, this story might have you asking: what would happen if you gave recovery the same effort you gave to using?
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