04.19.2026 - Relapse and Recovery - Risa04.19.2026 - Relapse and Recovery - Risa
OA RISE | Recovery Inspires Shared Experiences
Risa shares a candid story of lifelong food addiction, trauma, multiple relapses and returning to OA after years of resistance. Her experience highlights how spiritual tools, community, sponsorship and retreats help her rebuild abstinence and self‑acceptance, even after repeated setbacks.
1:32:45•19 Apr 2026
Relapse, Retreats and Returning to OA: Risa’s Honest Share
Episode Overview
- Relapse does not disqualify anyone from OA; members emphasise, “we don’t shoot our wounded,” and welcome people back with warmth rather than judgement.
- For Risa, removing alcohol and drugs without addressing food left a ‘God‑sized hole’ that only a spiritual solution and the OA steps could begin to address.
- Rigidity, self‑reliance and trying to “run the whole show” kept her stuck; adopting spiritual principles from the Big Book helped her see how self‑will was failing her.
- Connection through meetings, retreats, sponsorship and service provided the safety and accountability she could not create alone, especially after repeated relapses.
- Abstinence for Risa now includes no sugar, no white flour, no binging or purging, and a focus on progress, mobility and self‑acceptance rather than just the number on the scale.
““Welcome back. We don’t shoot our wounded.””
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This OA RISE meeting centres on Risa from Chicago, who lays out a raw, honest account of compulsive eating, bulimia, drugs, alcohol and the messy middle of relapse. You’ll hear how food became Risa’s first “drug” in a chaotic childhood marked by trauma and secrecy, from stealing from the pantry in a house of seven children to growing up with harsh labels like “husky” and deep body dysmorphia.
She talks about shifting from compulsive overeating to anorexia and bulimia, marrying young into an abusive relationship, and finding harder substances that briefly replaced food. Sobriety at 27 brought a new twist: with alcohol and drugs gone, food rushed back in. A single meal of fried shrimp and chips became the moment she felt that old “click” of trying to fill a God‑shaped hole with something else.
Despite long-term sobriety in another fellowship, she describes gaining over 100 pounds, working in a gym while her weight climbed, and “wearing” her disease as armour, especially after repeated sexual trauma. Risa talks frankly about resisting OA for years, insisting she could fix food in another programme, and how relapse kept dragging her back.
Her story spans drastic weight loss without spiritual footing, a painful relationship where “cheat days” led to full-blown binges, and even suicidal thoughts during trips and at home when food felt like the only solution.
The turning point comes with Zoom OA meetings, a women’s retreat, and hearing someone refer to a female higher power: “She is handling all of it.” That small wording shift, plus the love she met at the retreat – “we don’t shoot our wounded” – helped her stay, keep coming back after relapses, and rebuild abstinence with no sugar, no white flour and no purging.
Anyone juggling relapse shame, multiple addictions and fear of coming back to OA will find this session a relatable reminder that you’re never disqualified from starting again – so what might your next return look like?
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