089: Counselling Recovery with Michelle Farris089: Counselling Recovery with Michelle Farris
You're Sober! Now What?
Therapist Michelle Ferris talks with host Tamar Medford about codependency, anger, harm reduction and the practical tools that can ease emotional pain in recovery. The conversation highlights how self-care, boundaries and support networks can help people move beyond addiction and into a more joyful life.
40:40•12 Apr 2021
Codependency, Anger and Finding Relief with Michelle Ferris
Episode Overview
- Codependency often looks like focusing on others at your own expense and can involve people-pleasing, control and perfectionism.
- Harm reduction can help people who still drink by addressing stress, self-care and relationship issues rather than demanding instant abstinence.
- Strong signs of addiction include continuing the behaviour despite negative consequences and obsessive thinking about using or acting out.
- Recovery from codependency usually requires boundaries, self-validation and a support tribe rather than trying to change alone.
- Unexpressed anger often turns into resentment, so learning to admit when you are upset is key to healthier relationships and long-term recovery.
“Codependent people are generous people with huge hearts. You’re not bad, you’re not wrong, you’re not crazy, but you need help.”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This conversation with psychotherapist and anger management specialist Michelle Ferris offers a grounded look at what healing can actually look like for people living with addiction, codependency and big, messy feelings.
Michelle shares how she was drawn to therapy as a kid, asking her mum for counselling at 12 and realising, "holy cow, there's help out there." That early curiosity grew into a career focused on practical tools rather than endless digging into childhood. She explains that many of her clients still drink and want harm reduction, so she "meets them where they're at" and focuses on stress, self-care and relationships as the real drivers behind addictive behaviour.
A big chunk of the chat centres on codependency. Michelle calls it "a pattern where you're focusing on others at your own expense" and points out that codependent traits like helping and volunteering can look admirable, but become harmful when you never leave time for yourself. Her line, "I don't think we have to stop giving, we just have to stop giving when it hurts us," will hit home for anyone who’s always the fixer in every situation.
She also talks about anger and resentment, including her own journey from being "nice if it kills me" to seeing how swallowed anger turns into toxic resentment. The pair discuss hitting bottom, why people resist help even when they know they have a problem, and how support networks, 12-step meetings and honest feedback from non-enabling friends can be game changers.
You’ll come away with a clearer sense that addicts and alcoholics "aren't bad people", that codependent people are "generous people with huge hearts", and that recovery includes fun, purpose and joy as much as hard work. Ready to look at where you might be giving at your own expense and choose something different?
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