092: Do You Hide Your Sobriety?092: Do You Hide Your Sobriety?
You're Sober! Now What?
Tamar Medford talks about why some people hide their sobriety and how her own views shifted from shame to pride in recovery. She reflects on stigma, social and work situations, and the potential impact of being more open about living alcohol-free.
15:53•22 Apr 2021
Do You Hide Your Sobriety? Shame, Stigma and Owning Your Story
Episode Overview
- Hiding sobriety often stems from fear of judgement and lingering shame about past behaviour.
- Rejecting limiting labels can help someone see recovery as part of their story, not their entire identity.
- Simple responses like saying you’re a "retired professional" can deflect pressure to drink while keeping things light.
- Being open about not drinking may encourage others to reflect on their own habits and start honest conversations.
- Treating sobriety as normal rather than secret can support building a fuller, more purposeful life beyond recovery.
“I didn't get sober to settle, right? I got sober to create a new life for myself.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This episode of "You're Sober! Now What?" focuses on a question many people quietly wrestle with: do you hide your recovery, and if so, why? Tamar Medford talks openly about the years she felt deep shame about her past and avoided telling people she was sober. She describes fearing that if her recovery became public, she’d be judged forever by old behaviour. Over time, though, her perspective shifted.
She now sees that those experiences helped shape who she is today and says, "I didn't get sober to settle, right? I got sober to create a new life for myself." You’ll hear Tamar reflect on workplace culture, client dinners, and social situations where alcohol is the norm. She shares practical language she uses, like joking that she’s a "retired professional" when asked why she’s not drinking, and how that simple response often opens up surprisingly honest conversations.
Some colleagues and clients begin questioning their own drinking habits, showing how speaking openly about sobriety can quietly influence others. The episode touches on stigma, labels such as "alcoholic", and the idea of building a life beyond recovery that you’re genuinely proud of. Tamar talks about recovery as a source of strength and even calls sobriety a kind of "superpower" she’s heard others claim, because it creates space for meaningful relationships and new opportunities.
She doesn’t suggest shouting your story from the rooftops, but invites you to think about what might change if you stopped hiding your sobriety and treated it as normal rather than something to be ashamed of. If you’ve ever worried about telling people you’re sober, this conversation might make you ask yourself: what possibilities are you shutting down by staying silent?
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