100: High and Low Bottom Drunk and Why It Doesn't Matter100: High and Low Bottom Drunk and Why It Doesn't Matter
You're Sober! Now What?
Tamar talks about the idea of high and low bottom drunks and how comparing stories nearly pushed her out of recovery. She reflects on her own "functioning" alcoholism and stresses that a bottom is simply the point where you decide to stop digging and ask for help.
11:09•20 May 2021
High Bottom, Low Bottom: Why Your Story Still Counts in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Your bottom isn’t defined by how chaotic your life looks, but by the moment you decide you’re done and stop digging.
- Outward success and a "functioning" life can hide severe emotional pain and an inability to stop drinking.
- Comparing your story to others can keep you stuck; focusing on similarities helps you feel less alone and more willing to stay in recovery.
- A shared inability to stop once alcohol or substances are ingested is a key common factor among people who need recovery support.
- You don’t have to hit a very low bottom before asking for help; choosing change earlier can prevent further harm.
“"Our bottom is when we stop digging."”
What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This episode of "You're Sober! Now What?" zooms in on a powerful idea: your bottom isn’t how bad things look from the outside, it’s the moment you decide to stop digging. Tamar shares her experience as what many in recovery call a "high bottom drunk". On paper she had the condo, the marriage, the nice car and solid career; people might’ve thought she had her "shit together".
Behind the scenes, she was severely depressed, deep in debt, 215 pounds, and thinking about ending her life. Her story shows how easy it is to use outward success as an excuse to deny a drinking problem. Early in recovery, Tamar sat in meetings comparing herself to people who’d been homeless, in jail, or through treatment centres, telling herself "I’m not like you people". Over time, and with some honest guidance, she started listening for similarities instead of differences.
The crucial common thread? "Once we ingested some sort of substance or alcohol into our bodies, we couldn’t stop." She talks about how that shift in focus helped her stay sober and avoid going back out. Tamar also points to the idea that addiction is progressive; just because someone hasn’t hit a "low bottom" yet doesn’t mean they’re safe. You don’t have to lose everything to qualify for help.
Along the way, she mentions her collaboration with friend Katie Hutzel and their community for entrepreneurs in recovery, touching on issues like imposter syndrome and mindset work. It’s all framed around using adversity as fuel to find purpose. If you’ve ever thought your life "isn’t bad enough" to seek help, this conversation might make you rethink what a bottom truly is and remind you that asking for support doesn’t require things to get worse first.
So, are you ready to stop digging?
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