119: The Umbrella Hour with Dr. An Goldbauer & Zander Keig LCSW - Episode 119119: The Umbrella Hour with Dr. An Goldbauer & Zander Keig LCSW - Episode 119
UK Health Radio Podcast
Dr. Elvina Lui shares her qualitative research on what transgender individuals want from premarital counselling, outlining 21 key topics and major gaps in therapist training. The conversation with Dr. An Goldbauer and Zander Keig LCSW focuses on discrimination, medical transition, intimacy and the need for better tools for clinicians and couples alike.
43:28•5 Oct 2026
Premarital Counselling for Trans Couples: Why 21 Key Topics Really Matter
Episode Overview
- Premarital counselling for trans couples is almost completely absent from published research and existing resources.
- Trans participants identified 21 important premarital topics, including 11 that are specific to relationships where at least one partner is transgender.
- All participants wanted premarital counselling to address how the couple would handle social discrimination together.
- Many trans clients report therapists who are supportive but poorly informed, forcing clients to educate their own providers about dysphoria and trans experience.
- Existing certification programmes in transgender care highlight key themes, but there is still a strong need for practical manuals and tools focused on trans couples.
“"The one thing that was the same across all 12 of them… we think that in premarital counselling, the counsellors should bring up how they and their future spouse would handle social discrimination."”
Curious about how others manage relationships and identity when life already feels complicated enough? This Umbrella Hour episode takes you into a detailed conversation about premarital counselling specifically for transgender people, with hosts Dr. An Goldbauer and Zander Keig LCSW talking with guest Dr. Elvina Lui. Dr.
Lui explains how her PhD research began with a simple question: why is there so much premarital material for cis and even queer couples, yet "there is nothing that I could find" for transgender couples?
From there, she carried out qualitative interviews with 12 self-identifying transgender adults across the US, Europe and Asia, asking one open question: "If you were to get premarital counselling, what topics would you like included?" You’ll hear how those conversations turned into a list of 21 topics—10 relevant to all couples, and 11 specific to relationships where at least one partner is trans.
Alongside familiar themes like money, parenting and stress, trans-specific concerns stand out: managing social and institutional discrimination together, making decisions around medical transition and hormone treatment, talking openly about gender dysphoria, sex during and after transition, and clarifying expectations about surgeries and coming out. The episode also highlights how hard it can be for trans people to find properly informed therapists.
Several participants reported having to teach their own therapists about dysphoria and trans experience, even when those clinicians were well-meaning. That gap in training sparks a lively chat about current certification programmes in transgender care and the urgent need for practical tools—workbooks, manuals and structured premarital resources—designed with trans couples in mind.
There’s humour, honesty and plenty of professional reflection as the trio swap stories from clinical practice and discuss how better preparation before marriage can boost relationship satisfaction and possibly reduce divorce. It’s a thoughtful listen for therapists, trans individuals, partners of trans people and anyone curious about how relationships can be built on clearer conversations and shared understanding. If you were planning a long-term relationship with a trans partner, what would you want on your own premarital checklist?
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