#131: Loving a Child Through Addiction Without Losing Yourself with Donna Marston#131: Loving a Child Through Addiction Without Losing Yourself with Donna Marston
Sun & Moon Sober Living Podcast
Family Recovery Support Specialist Donna Marston shares how loving her son through severe addiction pushed her into her own healing, boundary-setting and advocacy work. The conversation focuses on compassionate parenting, practical tools for families and the long, non-linear process of recovery for both children and parents.
51:20•2 Sept 2026
Loving Your Child Through Addiction Without Losing Yourself
Episode Overview
- Parents need support and healing too; focusing solely on the child’s addiction leaves family wounds unaddressed.
- Changing language – using a person’s name instead of labels like “addict” – helps restore dignity and connection.
- Healthy boundaries can coexist with love; agreements and clear “three strikes” expectations reduce chaos and resentment.
- Asking, “How can I support you?” opens genuine dialogue, rather than talking at a loved one or trying to control their recovery.
- Parents can relapse into old patterns; awareness, journalling and self-responsibility help them return to calmer, love-led responses.
“The change starts with me, not with my son.”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This conversation between host Mary Tilson and guest Donna Marston offers a raw, honest look at what it means to love a child through addiction without losing yourself in the process. Donna, a speaker, author, Family Recovery Support Specialist and founder of Sharing Without Shame®, talks openly about her son’s journey from IV heroin and fentanyl use to long-term recovery, and her own journey from shame-filled secrecy to unapologetic advocacy.
She recalls lying in the fetal position, asking, “What did I do wrong?” and later realising, “We’re as sick as our secret.” You’ll hear how Donna moved from trying to rescue, control and “drag him home”, to setting boundaries, changing her language, and focusing on her own healing. She describes learning to say, “How can I support you?” instead of lecturing, and why she stopped calling people “addicts” or “alcoholics” and started calling them by their names.
Her message is clear: “The change starts with me, not with my son.” The episode also walks through practical tools for parents: family agreements with clear boundaries, “love codes” (simple hearts sent by text), journalling practices, and harm reduction conversations that balance safety with respect for autonomy. Donna doesn’t shy away from grief, relapse, or the messy middle, and speaks frankly about how parents can relapse into old behaviours too.
If you’re parenting someone in active addiction or early recovery, or supporting a loved one from the sidelines, you’ll find both validation and structure here. This is a space where parents aren’t blamed or shamed, but gently invited to examine their own reactions, heal old wounds, and learn how to love a child in addiction while staying grounded themselves. Where could shifting from fear to love change the way you show up today?
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