132: Saving with Steve with Steve Sexton & guest Shari Leid132: Saving with Steve with Steve Sexton & guest Shari Leid
UK Health Radio Podcast
Host Steve Sexton talks with connection coach Shari Leid about the loneliness epidemic, intentional friendship-building and the stories people tell themselves about who they are in relationships. Shari shares practical tools and personal experiences aimed at helping people create more meaningful, health-supporting connections in their lives.
45:00•6 Jun 2026
Connection as a Life Skill: Shari Leid on Friendship, Loneliness and Changing Your Story
Episode Overview
- Treat connection as intentional work: join physical, volunteer and professional groups to widen your chances of meeting people who stick.
- Shift your focus in conversation: “Don’t focus on you, focus on who” and “don’t listen to reply, listen to identify” so you can hear the story beneath someone’s words.
- Question the labels you’ve accepted about yourself, such as being an introvert, and recognise how they may be holding you back from forming friendships.
- Let go of the urge to control others and instead “choose the soul”, prioritising genuine connection over managing outcomes in relationships.
- Start with the easiest possible step—like collecting smiles or asking a colleague for coffee—and follow up with face-to-face time to build sustainable friendships.
“The story you tell yourself changes everything about yourself.”
What drives someone to seek a richer, more connected life, especially in a world where everyone’s “busy” but so many feel alone? This conversation between host Steve Sexton and guest Shari Leid looks straight at the loneliness epidemic and why connection has to be a conscious choice rather than a happy accident.
Shari, a nationally recognised expert in connection and friendship, shares how she moved from Seattle to Dallas “without any anchor, without any roots here, no friends, nothing” to prove that meaningful relationships can be built from scratch—if you’re intentional. She lays out three practical starting points: join something physical (like a walking group or class), a volunteer or philanthropic group, and a professional or business community.
She’s honest that it can feel daunting, especially for introverts, but reminds everyone that “it’s a numbers game” and that practice makes it easier. The episode leans heavily on mindset. Shari challenges the labels people cling to, asking, “What story are you telling yourself about yourself?” and emphasising that “the story you tell yourself changes everything about yourself.” She reframes introversion and extroversion as different strengths rather than excuses to stay home.
She also introduces powerful connection “tools”: “Don’t focus on you, focus on who”, and “Don’t listen to reply, listen to identify”. By shifting attention away from performing and towards genuine curiosity, conversations move beyond small talk into real rapport. Another big theme is letting go of control: “Don’t choose control, choose the soul”, whether that’s with colleagues, partners, children or friends.
Woven through are stories of cancer survival, ageing parents, and 93‑year‑old Betty in Arizona, all used to show why friendships aren’t a luxury but a health essential. If you’ve been telling yourself you’re “too busy” or “too shy” to build friendships, this episode gently asks: what’s the smallest easy step you’re willing to take today?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.