133: Life in Recovery with John Loxley

133: Life in Recovery with John Loxley

What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This conversation with certified life coach, author and DJ-turned-podcaster John Loxley (aka Ren Koi) offers a raw look at what long-term recovery can really feel like beyond the pink cloud. You’ll hear John talk candidly about growing up in an alcoholic household where his dad was physically present but emotionally absent, and how that lack of emotional connection fed into years of drinking and drug use.

He explains that he “used drugs to enable me to drink more” and that alcohol became bad medicine for an unaddressed emotional illness, not just a habit that got out of hand. The chat digs into early recovery, the power of 12-step fellowships, and why simply removing substances isn’t enough.

John shares how he reached a point in Australia where, despite being abstinent, eating well and exercising, he was “homicidal and suicidal,” which pushed him toward his first meeting and a completely new way of living. Emotional intelligence runs through the whole episode: John breaks down how he now consciously notices his emotions, looks for their opposites, and uses tools like the serenity prayer, writing and talking to others to move from resentment to contentment or impatience to gratitude.

There’s also honest discussion about complacency in recovery, restarting the steps "back to basics", and finding purpose in helping others through sponsoring, podcasting and life coaching. Things get more controversial as John talks about carefully using psychedelics like ayahuasca and psilocybin for trauma and spiritual growth, and how these experiences shifted his view of higher power and deepened his recovery.

It’s a thoughtful, sometimes challenging conversation that still lands on simple truths: connection, service, and doing the inner work, day after day. If you’ve ever wondered what might lie beyond just staying sober, this one might get you asking some big questions of your own.