#136 Emotional Numbness After Trauma | Why You Can't Feel Anything#136 Emotional Numbness After Trauma | Why You Can't Feel Anything
The Trauma Recovery School
Bonita Ackerman du Preez explains emotional numbness after trauma as a protective nervous system response rather than a personal flaw. She outlines a structured, somatic approach to gently bringing feelings back online through phased trauma recovery work.
5:35•19 Oct 2026
Why Emotional Numbness After Trauma Doesn’t Mean You’re Broken
Episode Overview
- Emotional numbness is presented as a specific nervous system state, not a sign of being broken or indifferent.
- Bonita explains dorsal vagal shutdown, based on polyvagal theory, as a survival response that mutes feelings to keep a person functioning.
- Antidepressants act on serotonin, whereas numbness is described as rooted in the vagus nerve, so chemical solutions alone may not shift it.
- The trauma recovery process is outlined in three phases—Release, Reprogram and Restore—using somatic practices rather than force.
- Recovery is portrayed as gradual and structured, with temporary setbacks seen as the body resisting change rather than personal failure.
“the numbness is not the absence of anything it is a specific nervous system state your body turned the volume down at some point because feeling everything was just too much”
Wondering why life looks fine on paper yet feels flat, distant, or strangely out of reach? This episode of The Trauma Recovery School speaks directly to anyone who feels emotionally switched off and worries they’re broken beyond repair.
Host Bonita Ackerman du Preez breaks down emotional numbness as “not the absence of anything, it is a specific nervous system state your body turned the volume down at some point because feeling everything was just too much.” Instead of blaming character or chemistry, she explains the science of dorsal vagal shutdown, drawing on Stephen Porges’ polyvagal theory.
Numbness is framed as a survival response in the vagus nerve, not a moral failing and not necessarily a problem that antidepressants can fix. You’ll hear how the Trauma Recovery School’s method works in phases: Release, Reprogram and Restore.
In the Release phase, Bonita stresses that forcing feelings back is the worst strategy: “force deepens your shutdown.” Instead, she talks through gentle, somatic practices that signal safety to the ventral vagal branch so the nervous system can “come back online” gradually. There’s also honest talk about what happens when feeling starts to return. Joy doesn’t simply pop back; there’s often a backlog of sadness, anger and long-stored stress that moves through in small shifts.
Bonita normalises those moments where you might feel “worse before better”, describing them as a scared body trying to cling to old protection patterns. The tone is calm, structured and quietly hopeful. This is aimed at trauma and PTSD survivors who’ve tried “all the antidepressants” and still feel numb, and at anyone who needs to hear that their body was trying to save them, not ruin their life.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your emptiness is permanent, this gentle science-meets-practical-tools conversation might be the reassurance you’ve been waiting for. So, could your numbness simply be a temporary protection plan that’s ready to retire?
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