137: Overcoming the Spiritual Malady with Bill Ward137: Overcoming the Spiritual Malady with Bill Ward
You're Sober! Now What?
Bill Ward shares how childhood trauma, spiritual emptiness and a secret crack addiction led to complete collapse, and how working the 12 steps changed his life. The conversation touches on First Nations identity, intergenerational pain, and finding a spiritual path that turns darkness into purpose.
55:21•27 Sept 2021
Overcoming the Spiritual Malady: Bill Ward on Finding the "God Dope"
Episode Overview
- Spiritual illness, not just substances, drives addiction and must be addressed for long-term recovery.
- Inventory work in the 12 steps can reveal that behaviours stem from an illness rather than "being a bad person".
- Cross-addiction can appear years into sobriety when a new substance triggers craving and obsession.
- Living differently, rather than preaching recovery, can inspire family members to seek their own healing.
- Authenticity and reconnecting with cultural identity can be central to healing, especially for First Nations people facing deep-rooted trauma.
“I was absolutely broken person... and from there, I started my recovery journey.”
Curious about how others cope with the challenges of staying sober? This conversation between host Tamar Medford and recovery coach Bill Ward offers a raw look at addiction, spiritual pain, and what long-term healing can actually look like. Bill, a 49-year-old father of three from Calgary and half Cree First Nation, talks about losing his successful construction company, his home, and his family to a secret crack addiction that cost him around $500,000.
He traces his story back to childhood abandonment, violence in the home, and deep anger, sharing how he spent "my whole life trying to run away from my own identity as a First Nations man" and later realised how much that denial fed his suffering. A big focus here is the "spiritual malady" described in 12-step literature. Bill explains how the inner emptiness and distorted beliefs behind addiction don’t disappear just because the substances go away.
His turning point came when he hit complete emotional and financial bottom and asked his dad to take him to a meeting: "I was absolutely broken... I had nowhere else to go." From there, he dug into the steps, especially inventory work, and began sponsoring others.
You’ll hear how he now lives what he calls the "God dope" instead of drug highs, how his anger has "relatively gone away", and how simply living differently inspired his ex-partner and daughters to start working the steps themselves. Bill and Tamar also talk about intergenerational trauma in First Nations communities, why spiritual health is as crucial as mental health, and how coaching and sharing experience can help people move "out of the darkness and into the light".
If you’re wondering whether spiritual work, community, and brutal honesty can shift a life stuck in addiction, this story might prompt you to ask: what kind of change are you truly ready for?
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