144: Why the God Men Were Taught Keeps Them Stuck in Addiction and Shame144: Why the God Men Were Taught Keeps Them Stuck in Addiction and Shame
The Freeology Podcast
Jason Lyle questions a performance-based image of God that keeps men trapped in addiction and shame. He contrasts this with a quieter experience of the Divine that asks for presence, not perfection.
9:14•12 Jul 2026
Breaking the Shame Cycle: Rethinking God, Addiction and Men’s Recovery
Episode Overview
- A performance-driven view of God keeps men chasing an impossible standard and fuels exhaustion.
- Shame-based religion and addiction rely on the same message: you are never enough as you are.
- An unregulated nervous system drives the search for fast relief, which often shows up as addictive behaviour.
- Jason describes finding a different experience of God in silence, focused on presence rather than perfection.
- Brokenness and honesty become the doorway to change, instead of a permanent identity of ‘sinner’.
“The God who lives in silence is asking you for presence, not perfection.”
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when their idea of God seems to make things worse? This episode of The Freeology Podcast follows Jason Lyle as he talks bluntly about how a performance-based image of God can keep men stuck in addiction and shame.
Jason reflects on thirteen years preaching about a God who needed to be pleased: “It was always pray more, read more, sin less, perform better.” He admits that while he was teaching this, he was actually falling apart, worn down by a standard he could never meet. That exhaustion, he explains, pushes men back towards quick relief, whether that’s substances or other compulsive behaviours.
You’ll hear Jason link shame-based religion and addiction together, saying they “run on the same exact fuel” because both insist you’re never enough. He shares how his old view of God didn’t interrupt the shame cycle but became part of it—preaching grace on Sunday, acting from shame at home, until something in him finally broke.
From there, the tone shifts towards a quieter, more hopeful picture: “The God who lives in silence is asking you for presence, not perfection.” Jason draws on stories of Elijah, Jesus, and people labelled as sinners to show a different way of relating to the Divine—one where honesty beats performance and brokenness becomes the starting point for change rather than a label you’re stuck with.
Men wrestling with faith, addiction, and relentless self-criticism may recognise themselves in Jason’s language and questions, like “How good is good enough?” and “When do we actually get there?” If you’ve ever felt that your spiritual life is fuelling your shame instead of easing it, this conversation might prompt you to ask: what kind of God are you living with—and is that helping you heal or keeping you trapped?
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