152 Aligning Your Purpose & Values with Your Goals

152 Aligning Your Purpose & Values with Your Goals

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol? This conversation with Tamar Medford zooms in on a key piece of that puzzle: aligning purpose, values and goals so sobriety actually feels meaningful, not just dry. Speaking from years in recovery, Tamar shares how complacency became her wake-up call.

She talks about building what looked like a "good" life – job, relationship, car – and realising, "I created the life that I thought I was meant to live because of societal factors" and it still left her unfulfilled. That discomfort pushed her to ask bigger questions about why she’s here and what truly matters.

You’ll hear her walk through the concept of ikigai using four simple questions – what do you love, what are you good at, what could you be paid for, and what does the world need more of – and how honestly answering them revealed coaching as a purpose-driven path.

She then connects this to recovery, sharing openly about 22 years of addiction and how many people, even without substance issues, can recognise similar patterns with food or other behaviours used to numb emotions. A big part of the chat focuses on self-determination theory and the difference between external motivation (like paycheques or New Year’s resolutions) and internal motivation rooted in autonomy, competence and connection.

Tamar uses her health goals as a practical example of shifting from “lose weight” to “have the energy and honesty to show up fully for my business and clients”, which made getting on the exercise bike feel exciting instead of like punishment. The episode gently nudges you to review your own purpose, list your values, and then build goals that match both, rather than ticking boxes for other people.

If your recovery or life goals feel flat or forced, could it be time to rewrite them so they actually fit who you are and what you care about?