17: After The Storm: Where Healing Begins presented by Brian D. Smith - Episode 1717: After The Storm: Where Healing Begins presented by Brian D. Smith - Episode 17
UK Health Radio Podcast
Brian D. Smith explains why the most crucial support for a grieving person often comes around month three, offering specific language and practical actions to truly help. The episode focuses on staying present over time and shows that showing up late can still make a meaningful difference.
47:20•23 Oct 2026
After The Storm: Showing Up When Grief Gets Quiet
Episode Overview
- Presence matters more than perfect wording; simple honesty like “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here” is enough.
- Avoid trying to minimise, explain, or rush grief with phrases such as “God needed another angel” or “Everything happens for a reason.”
- Offer specific, practical help – meals, lawn care, childcare, errands, paperwork – instead of open-ended “Let me know if you need anything.”
- Mark important dates and around month three, six, nine, and one year in your calendar to keep reaching out after initial support fades.
- If you’ve been distant, reaching out late still matters; a grieving person notices that you came, not how long it took.
“The griever does not notice your imperfect words nearly as much as they notice your absence.”
What drives someone to seek a life without turning away from pain? This episode of *After The Storm: Where Healing Begins* zooms in on a surprisingly overlooked part of grief support: what happens after everyone else has gone home. Host Brian D. Smith, a certified grief guide and life coach, speaks from personal experience after the passing of his 15-year-old daughter, Shana.
He talks directly to people on the sidelines of grief – friends, colleagues, family members – who are desperate to help but scared of saying the wrong thing or feel they've left it too late. Brian walks through the phrases that often sting, even when the heart behind them is kind.
Lines like “God needed another angel”, “Everything happens for a reason”, or “Let me know if there’s anything I can do” are gently unpacked so you can understand why they miss the mark.
As he puts it, “The griever does not notice your imperfect words nearly as much as they notice your absence.” Instead, you'll hear practical alternatives: saying “I don’t know what to say, but I’m right here for you”, using the loved one’s name, and focusing on the person in front of you rather than trying to fix their pain.
Brian offers a detailed "menu" of real-world help – bringing specific meals, mowing the lawn, handling paperwork, walking the dog, sending texts that don’t demand a reply, and marking key dates like birthdays and anniversaries in your calendar. The heart of the episode is the “month-three mistake”.
Brian explains how support often collapses just as the shock wears off and the full weight of loss hits, illustrated by the story of "Frank" whose world stops while everyone else assumes he is getting back to normal. If you’ve ever pulled away from a grieving person or worried it’s too late to reach out, this conversation might be the nudge you need to show up again.
Who could be waiting for your message at month three – or even month twelve?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.