188 Live Well with Sharon Martin188 Live Well with Sharon Martin
You're Sober! Now What?
Psychotherapist Sharon Martin talks with the host about codependency, perfectionism and people-pleasing, and how self-compassion and healthy boundaries can support long-term recovery. The conversation highlights practical tools and a workbook aimed at helping people build self-worth and protect their wellbeing.
41:50•14 Mar 2022
Codependency, Boundaries and Self-Worth with Sharon Martin
Episode Overview
- Codependency is less about the relationship and more about how a person feels about themselves and behaves within that relationship.
- Self-compassion and kindness after mistakes are more effective for change than shame or harsh self-criticism.
- Emotional dependence on others for validation can be reduced by developing an internal sense of self-worth.
- Healthy boundaries focus on self-care and protecting time, energy and emotions, rather than controlling other people.
- The Better Boundaries Workbook offers structured exercises and tools based on Sharon Martin's clinical experience.
“When we're codependent, we're looking for other people to do most or all of that for us because we don't really have the ability to do it for ourselves.”
How can compelling narratives motivate and inspire others? This chat with psychotherapist Sharon Martin offers a practical look at codependency, perfectionism and people-pleasing, especially for those in sobriety who feel like their "onion" of recovery has suddenly grown new layers. You’ll hear Sharon explain why she actually doesn’t love the word codependency, but uses it anyway because nothing better has stuck.
She talks about reframing it, stripping away blame and shame, and seeing it as a chance for personal growth rather than a label to fear. Sharon shares that she’s "definitely struggled with codependency" herself, making the conversation feel grounded and honest, rather than clinical. The episode focuses heavily on self-worth and self-compassion.
Sharon challenges the idea that harsh self-criticism is motivating, pointing out that "for the vast majority of people that really does not work" and usually leaves them feeling worse. Instead, she explains how treating yourself kindly when you make mistakes actually helps you change more effectively, much like you’d support a struggling friend or child. Boundaries get plenty of attention too. Sharon describes them as a form of self-care, not a way to control other people.
She stresses that even if others don’t respect your limits, you still have choices about how to protect your time, emotions and energy. Her Better Boundaries Workbook gives people structured exercises and reflective questions to practise these skills, using tools she’s developed over years of clinical work. For anyone in recovery who’s great at taking care of others but terrible at looking after themselves, this conversation offers relatable stories, clear explanations and practical tools.
It’s aimed at people who are ready to look beyond abstinence and ask: how do I build self-worth, set healthy boundaries and actually feel okay in my own skin?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.