20: The Getting Real with Hilary Show with Hilary Burns - Episode 2020: The Getting Real with Hilary Show with Hilary Burns - Episode 20
UK Health Radio Podcast
Author Lena Fein talks with Hilary Burns about her childhood trauma, shame and family violence, and how writing and sharing her memoir helped her find courage and a freer voice. The conversation focuses on the power of speaking difficult truths as a path toward emotional healing and connection.
42:32•26 Sept 2026
Shattering the Mirror: Lena Fein on Shame, Childhood Trauma and Finding Her Voice
Episode Overview
- Speaking difficult truths out loud can reduce shame and create a sense of freedom.
- Writing and sharing a memoir may gradually build courage and 'rewire' long-held patterns of hiding.
- Childhood experiences of betrayal and violence can lead to overachievement and emotional shutdown.
- Kind, non-judgemental responses from others can be deeply healing when revealing vulnerable stories.
- Reclaiming the heart and a "full voice" can become more important than external success or perfection.
“Once I said it, I got free.”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? This conversation on the Getting Real with Hilary show centres on author Lena Fein and the raw, detailed journey behind her memoir, *Shattering the Mirror – One Woman's Journey of Healing*. If you're curious about how someone heals from a childhood marked by emotional abuse, shame, accidents, and fear, you'll find plenty to relate to here. Hilary Burns and Lena talk candidly about the terror of speaking the unspeakable.
Lena admits she began writing in a small circle "never thinking I'd publish" because she was "terrified of being shamed". Instead, sharing her story brought the opposite result: women her age saying "me too" and thanking her for giving them courage. Hilary echoes this with her own experience of memoir writing, saying, "Once I said it, I got free" – a theme that runs throughout the episode.
You’ll hear vivid childhood memories: a diary betrayal that taught Lena it "wasn't safe to love", a horrific accident where her nose was severed, and a home shaped by a mother whose violence and obsessive cleaning left four daughters fending for themselves. There’s even a brief, shocking incident of her younger sister drinking from the liquor cabinet while their mum was vacuuming at the other end of the house. Yet the tone isn’t hopeless.
Lena talks about how putting her story on the page and then recording the audiobook literally "rewired" her. She describes moving from hiding behind achievement and intellect into living from a more open heart, with a "full voice" and deeper connection to others. Even reading graphic parts of her memoir aloud in a studio becomes an experience of unexpected kindness and mutual vulnerability.
If you've ever wondered whether speaking your own story might help you heal rather than hurt, this heartfelt chat may leave you asking: what would happen if you told the truth, too?
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