22. What If Others Don't See the Change?22. What If Others Don't See the Change?
Hope in Recovery
Rodney Holmstrom and Andy Petry talk about what happens when someone is changing through recovery, but their loved ones still don’t trust or recognise that change. Their conversation looks at motivation, consequences, faith, and realistic expectations for healing on both sides of broken relationships.
38:54•4 Apr 2023
When Loved Ones Don’t See Your Recovery Yet
Episode Overview
- Genuine change in recovery can be real even when those closest to you still doubt or can’t see it because of years of hurt.
- Motivation for recovery needs to be centred on your own healing with Christ as higher power, rather than trying to fix or please another person.
- Relational healing often takes far longer than personal change, so expectations about "how fast" things should be better must stay realistic.
- Both the person who offended and the person who was hurt have their own recovery work, including honest prayer, curiosity about each other’s pain, and taking it to the cross.
- Support networks, sponsors and accountability partners are vital, since the person you hurt may not be able to give you the affirmation you’re craving.
“Would I rather be in a healthy spot with hard circumstances or stuck in that same hell that I was in and the circumstances hadn't changed?”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This conversation between Rodney Holmstrom and Andy Petry zooms in on a painfully familiar question: what if the people closest to you just don't see – or trust – the change you're working so hard for in recovery?
Speaking openly as grateful believers in Jesus, Rodney and Andy talk through the tension of having months or years of genuine sobriety and heart change, while family and friends still carry "low-level scepticism" and old hurts.
Andy shares how, even after years in recovery, some relationships stayed chilly, leaving him asking, "Why am I even doing this in the first place?" You'll hear them explain why this happens in really practical terms: decades of hurt build "expected pain" in the brain, like turning the same corner and bracing for a baseball bat every time.
They compare recovery to tearing out mouldy walls in an old house – messy, costly, and much slower than anyone wants, but essential if you're going to live safely and healthily again. The episode digs into key questions: Who are you really doing recovery for? How do you handle discouragement when others don't cheer you on?
What does it look like to pray for someone who still doesn't trust you, or to stay soft-hearted when you're the one who's been deeply hurt?
Rooted in Celebrate Recovery principles and centred on Christ, Rodney and Andy keep pointing back to open-handed surrender, realistic expectations, and the reminder that "the grace that God has extended to us is greater than any grace anybody else will extend to us." Whether you’re the one who caused the hurt or the one carrying it, you'll find honest language for both sides of the story.
So, could Jesus really bring change to "even this" situation in your life, and are you willing to stay curious about that possibility?
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