36: Brave Together Podcast - Jessica Patay, Susanna Peace Lovell and Dr. Zoe Shaw - Episode 3636: Brave Together Podcast - Jessica Patay, Susanna Peace Lovell and Dr. Zoe Shaw - Episode 36
UK Health Radio Podcast
Jessica Patay, Susanna Peace Lovell and Dr. Zoe Shaw talk about caregiver capacity, margin and burnout, sharing practical ways to set boundaries and do less without guilt. The conversation focuses on redefining worth, challenging self-sacrifice and giving mums permission to protect their emotional and mental bandwidth.
46:56•7 Oct 2026
Capacity, Margin and Saying No: Brave Together for Caregiving Mums
Episode Overview
- Capacity is multi-dimensional and has nothing to do with how much you love your child.
- Margin is the reserve between your daily load and your limit, and living without it leads to overload.
- Creating decision rubrics helps caregivers say yes only to what aligns with their values and energy.
- Setting clear boundaries around communication and expectations protects emotional and mental health.
- Radically accepting your own and your child’s limits can reduce burnout and constant pressure to ‘do more’.
“Capacity is physiological and emotional bandwidth, not a measure of your devotion.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety and caregiving when life keeps piling on more than they can handle? This Brave Together episode on UK Health Radio brings together Jessica Patay, Susanna Peace Lovell and Dr. Zoe Shaw for a candid chat about caregiver burnout, capacity and the courage it takes to do less.
Aimed at parents raising children with disabilities, neurodivergence and complex needs, the conversation centres on one crucial reframe: "Capacity is physiological and emotional bandwidth, not a measure of your devotion." The trio unpack what capacity really means – physical, emotional, mental and financial – and why feeling exhausted after a "good night's sleep" might be about emotional strain rather than rest.
You’ll hear them break down the idea of margin as the buffer between your daily load and your limit, and why living permanently at the edge of your capacity is a recipe for overwhelm. From potlucks and endless laundry to medical forms and late-night research, they challenge caregiving mums to ask, "Do I actually have to do this?" and to notice how much of their schedule is driven by people pleasing, perfectionism and proving their worth. Dr.
Zoe shares her personal rubric for saying yes – checking if an opportunity aligns with values, purpose and energy rather than defaulting to "I’ll figure it out." Susanna offers a powerful story of choosing to sit on the sofa with her daughter instead of forcing herself through paperwork, and how that simple choice soothed both their nervous systems.
With plenty of humour, real-life examples and gentle truth-telling, this episode gives caregivers permission to set boundaries around texts, emails and social expectations, and to accept that they and their children have intrinsic worth simply because they breathe. If you’re stretched thin, craving more margin and wondering whether it’s okay to say no, this conversation might be the nudge you need to start choosing yourself more often.
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