A father should never have to bury his childA father should never have to bury his child
Recovery On-Air
Juan Avalos shares how childhood trauma, meth addiction, prison and relapse affected his relationship with his daughter Angelica, who later died from fentanyl. He explains how grief, faith and hard lessons led him to create Dads Against Bluez to support other fathers facing similar battles.
1:03:02•4 Sept 2026
A Father’s Grief, Fentanyl, and the Birth of Dads Against Bluez
Episode Overview
- Early exposure to addiction, violence and father absence can shape a child’s path into drug use and crime.
- Promises made to children during active addiction often break without real structural and spiritual change.
- Structured rehab, AA, and honest self-inventory helped Juan understand himself and begin genuine recovery.
- Losing Angelica to fentanyl pushed Juan to start Dads Against Bluez to support fathers and challenge generational patterns.
- Fathers play a crucial role in their children’s chances of stability, education, and avoiding addiction.
“"My struggle became her struggle."”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation on Recovery On-Air follows Juan Avalos as he talks openly about addiction, fatherhood, grief, faith, and starting again after unthinkable loss. Juan shares his childhood in Glendale, marked by a father who left when he was three, a single mum in active addiction, and older siblings using and partying in the home.
By 12 he was smoking meth; by 17 he was a dad to his daughter Angelica, promising himself he’d never abandon her the way his own father did. As meth, crime and prison sentences piled up, those promises broke: “My struggle became her struggle,” he admits. The episode traces his years in and out of treatment and AA, his first real taste of structure at The Salvation Army rehab, and a hard-won period of sobriety.
But a relapse in 2016 pulled him back into dealing and using, even while Angelica was spiralling into her own addiction and severe mental health crisis. He describes the guilt of running a trap house while trying to protect her, and the painful realisation that not handing her drugs didn’t make him any less part of the problem.
Juan talks about the phone call with his mum that “removed the scales” from his eyes, a spiritual encounter that pushed him toward lasting change, and the moment he learned Angelica had died from fentanyl at 27th Avenue and McDowell after being missing for days. Out of that grief came Dads Against Bluez, a non-profit he first imagined in a jail cell, focused on supporting fathers and breaking generational cycles.
This is a raw, honest story for anyone who’s lived through addiction, lost someone to fentanyl, or wonders whether dads really matter in recovery. It leaves a simple challenge hanging in the air: what could change if more fathers stepped back into their kids’ lives?
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