A Footnote on Experience vs AwakeningA Footnote on Experience vs Awakening
Father Bill W.
Father Bill W. reflects on AA’s shift from “spiritual experience” to “spiritual awakening,” sharing Bill Wilson’s comments and Fr. Ed Dowling’s reaction. The episode considers how faith as a lived encounter, rather than just a concept, can deepen spiritual growth in recovery.
9:44•26 May 2026
Spiritual Experience vs Awakening: Why One Word Matters in AA
Episode Overview
- Bill Wilson originally preferred the term "spiritual experience" in the 12th Step and later regretted its change to "spiritual awakening."
- Fr. Ed Dowling strongly opposed dropping the word "experience," saying he "still weep[s]" over the change.
- Dawn Eden Goldstein’s work is referenced to show that faith begins with an encounter – an experience – before it unfolds like an awakening.
- Father Bill highlights the Oxford Group’s approach of treating spiritual practice as an experiment leading to a lived relationship with God.
- Prayer, meditation, and Two Way Prayer are presented as ways to move from intellectual belief to an experiential sense of divine presence in daily life.
“"My hope is that you'll venture a little deeper into this thing, affecting an experience with the divine."”
Curious about how language shapes spiritual growth in recovery? This short episode from Father Bill W. takes a thoughtful detour into one particular phrase that’s been stirring debate in AA circles for decades: “spiritual experience” versus “spiritual awakening.” Speaking as an Episcopal priest sober since 1972 and steeped in 12-Step history, Father Bill shares a rare recording of AA co-founder Bill Wilson joking about his failed attempt to restore the original wording of the 12th Step.
Wilson recalls how the first edition of the Big Book used “spiritual experience” to describe transformation, influenced by William James’ *Varieties of Religious Experience*, and chuckles that later it was replaced by what he called “a tepid form of experience called an awakening.” You’ll also hear about Jesuit priest Fr. Ed Dowling, whom Wilson sometimes called his spiritual sponsor. At AA’s 20th anniversary in St.
Louis, Dowling remarked, “I still weep that the elders of the movement have dropped the word ‘experience’ for ‘awakening.’” Father Bill brings in Dawn Eden Goldstein’s perspective that faith starts with an encounter – a lived, felt experience – with a Person (with a capital P), and that trust grows from that encounter.
Rather than arguing over wording, the episode nudges anyone in 12-Step recovery to ask: is my relationship with a Higher Power only in my head, or is it something I actually feel? Father Bill suggests approaching the spiritual side of the programme as an experiment: through prayer, meditation, and Two Way Prayer, “you’re going to have an encounter with the divine… in your heart,” and carry that presence through your day.
For anyone in recovery who’s ever wondered what “spiritual” is supposed to look like, this little “footnote” offers a gentle challenge: are you settling for a concept, or are you ready to seek an experience?
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