Are You Looking for What's Wrong? Breaking Free from the Habit of DiscontentAre You Looking for What's Wrong? Breaking Free from the Habit of Discontent
Recover Your Soul: A Spiritual Path to a Happy and Healthy Life
Rev. Rachel Harrison reflects on the “propensity for discontent” and how Buddhist ideas and spiritual tools can help shift from constant dissatisfaction to a gentler, more appreciative way of living. The conversation links recovery, mindset and self-compassion, showing how a change in focus can change how life feels.
27:18•1 Jun 2026
Breaking the Habit of Discontent on the Recovery Path
Episode Overview
- Notice when you are automatically looking for what’s wrong and treat that as a red flag rather than a truth about your life.
- Recognise attachment, aversion and denial as old protective habits, and meet them with curiosity instead of judgement.
- Allow yourself “off days” without blaming others or spiralling into stories; sometimes you just need rest and kindness.
- Shift your attention intentionally towards what is working and what feels good, instead of constantly scanning for problems.
- Use difficult feelings as a doorway to learning about yourself, rather than as proof that life or you are broken.
“If you are looking for what isn’t working, you will find more of what isn’t working.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation with Rev. Rachel Harrison looks at a subtle but familiar habit: constantly scanning life for what’s wrong, even when things are going pretty well. Drawing on Pema Chödrön’s book *How We Live Is How We Die*, Rachel focuses on the phrase “the propensity for discontent” and how it shows up in everyday recovery.
She links this to the Buddhist idea of the three kleshas—attachment, aversion and ignorance—as patterns that keep people stuck in old stories and painful reactions. Rather than shaming anyone for having them, she treats these habits as protectors that once helped you cope, but might now be keeping you miserable.
You’ll hear her repeat a key line: “If you are looking for what isn’t working, you will find more of what isn’t working.” From grumpy relatives who always have a list of complaints, to her own past fixation on what was wrong with her marriage, Rachel shows how a negative lens can colour everything.
At the same time, she shares how shifting that lens allowed her to see her husband and her life differently, without pretending the hard stuff never happened. The episode blends recovery, spirituality and gentle psychology. Rachel talks about giving yourself grace on “off days”, noticing discomfort without immediately reacting, and choosing to put more attention on what is working. She offers simple questions to ask yourself, like: What am I choosing to focus on today?
Could this uncomfortable feeling be “a doorway to wisdom rather than a source of suffering”? If you’re in recovery from alcohol, codependency or just tired of feeling perpetually dissatisfied, this conversation offers a warm, practical reminder that you can change the lens you’re looking through. Where might your own propensity for discontent be hiding—and what would happen if you chose to see more light instead?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.