Big Book Study: Step 4 - Assessing the Damage (Part 5 of 15)Big Book Study: Step 4 - Assessing the Damage (Part 5 of 15)
Sober Cast: An (unofficial) Alcoholics Anonymous Podcast AA
Ron leads a Big Book workshop on Step 4, sharing how resentment, fear and sex harms inventories exposed his self-centredness in family, work and relationships. The session focuses on making Step 4 a spiritual experience through prayer, meditation and a willingness to see the truth about oneself.
50:51•28 Sept 2026
Step 4 and the Truth About Ourselves: Ron’s Big Book Workshop
Episode Overview
- Step 4 is presented as a spiritual experience, not just a writing exercise, with prayer and meditation woven into each part of the inventory.
- Ron highlights the Big Book’s claim that selfishness and self-centredness are the root of troubles, using his own work, marriage and parenting examples to show how that plays out.
- Approaching the programme with a “healthy sense of agnosticism” means being willing to say "I don't know, but I want to find out" and applying reason and experience to spiritual questions.
- Resentment, fear, and sex harms inventories are most effective when each name or situation is followed by prayer, meditation, and then an honest look at one’s own dishonesty, fear and selfishness.
- A clear sex (relationship) ideal helps turn painful truths from inventory into a new way of treating partners and loved ones with respect, dignity and honesty.
“"That's exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking, I need to keep drinking. Take my son."”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This session of Sober Cast drops you right into an AA Big Book workshop, where Ron shares his experience with Step 4: "Assessing the Damage" in a way that’s honest, funny, and uncomfortably relatable. Ron starts by explaining how he came to AA through family crisis rather than noble intention, admitting he was more worried about keeping his drinking than saving his son: "I was thinking, I need to keep drinking.
Take my son." That brutal honesty sets the tone for the whole talk. He walks through his early resistance, the emotional breakdowns in meetings, and the moment of surrender when he finally decided, "I'll do anything he says" about his sponsor Chris. The heart of the episode is Ron’s breakdown of Step 4 as a spiritual, not just mechanical, exercise.
He stresses praying before writing any inventory and describes resentment, fear, and sex harms inventories as places where self-centredness, dishonesty and fear finally show up on paper. He repeatedly reminds the group that the Big Book points to selfishness as "the root of our troubles", and his own inventories around work, marriage, and parenting show how painful it can be to see that in black and white. Ron also reframes agnosticism, sharing T. H.
Huxley’s idea that being agnostic means "I really don't know. And I want to find out." That attitude, he suggests, is key for anyone approaching the steps, especially those who struggle with belief in a higher power. If you’re working on Step 4, avoiding it, or sponsoring someone through it, this workshop-style talk gives concrete examples, spiritual context, and a few laughs along the way. It might leave you asking: what would your own inventory really say about you?
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