CodependencyCodependency
Addict II Athlete Podcast
Coach Blu talks with Dr Paul Jenkins about codependency, enabling and healthy love in recovery, using positive psychology and real-life stories. The conversation focuses on letting people own their choices while staying connected through a steady, unconditional kind of love.
49:31•8 May 2019
Codependency, Control and Loving "No Matter What"
Episode Overview
- Codependency often stems from needing to be needed, rather than choosing to love from a place of freedom.
- Detaching from outcomes while maintaining love ("no matter what and even if") protects both the supporter and the person in recovery.
- Rescuing someone from every consequence can rob them of vital learning that could later save their life.
- Shifting from "I can't" to "How can I?" flips the mental switch from helplessness to action.
- Focusing on strengths and timeless principles, rather than pathology alone, moves people from merely not sick to genuinely thriving.
“"My job is to love you no matter what and even if."”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? This episode of Addict II Athlete brings together Coach Blu Robinson and clinical psychologist Dr Paul Jenkins for a straight-talking chat about codependency, control, and what healthy love really looks like in recovery. Rather than focusing on addiction itself, the conversation keeps swinging back to strengths, principles and possibility. Dr Jenkins shares his "pathological positivity" approach, explaining that mental health sits on a spectrum: "Default is down...
elevation requires effort." Instead of asking what's wrong, he asks how people can move towards thriving, not just "not sick". Codependency gets unpacked in very practical terms. They talk about what happens when your identity is wrapped up in being needed, and how that plays out for partners, parents and anyone supporting someone with addiction.
One of the core ideas is learning to detach from outcomes while still staying deeply connected: "My job is to love you no matter what and even if." It's a challenging stance, but one that frees both sides—supporters stop burning out, and people in recovery keep ownership of their choices.
You'll hear vivid stories, from near-vertical hikes on the "stairway to heaven" to parents keeping photos of children in prison on the wall, and even examples of extreme resilience like people living full lives with no arms and legs. These stories highlight a clear message: you can handle far more than you think, and stepping in to "rescue" someone can quietly steal their chance to grow.
Anyone caught in enabling patterns, worried about a loved one, or trying to build a healthier sober support system will find plenty to think about here. It might leave you asking: are you rescuing, or are you really loving?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.