CuriosityCuriosity
All In The Mind
Are you a curious explorer? Curiosity is the missing ingredient in our search for a more fulfilling life, says Todd Kashdan.
28:50•12 May 2013
Curiosity as the Missing Ingredient in a Fulfilling Life
Episode Overview
- Chasing constant happiness can be unhelpful; curiosity offers a richer mix of fun and meaning.
- Curiosity requires both noticing newness and feeling able to handle uncertainty.
- Curious children tend to do better at school and build stronger relationships with teachers.
- Over-structured, fear-driven parenting can reduce children’s ability to tolerate pain and make their own decisions.
- Simple daily practices, such as reframing self-talk and entering situations with openness, can strengthen curiosity and emotional flexibility.
“"It's going to sound like heresy, but when we make our objective of life to be happy, it's problematic."”
How can compelling narratives motivate and inspire others? This conversation on "All In The Mind" zeroes in on curiosity as a surprising key ingredient in leading a fuller life, with psychology professor Todd Kashdan challenging some very popular ideas about happiness. Speaking with host Lynne Malcolm, Kashdan questions the chase for constant happiness, joking that a life "of profound meaning without fun is just damn boring" and arguing that curiosity gives people both depth and playfulness.
Instead of treating happiness as the ultimate goal, he suggests throwing yourself into new experiences, being present, and letting your natural curiosity guide what you care about — even when that brings discomfort or pain. Kashdan breaks curiosity into two parts: noticing novelty and uncertainty, and believing you can handle it. Without that second bit, the unknown feels threatening rather than exciting.
He shares research showing that curious children do better at school and build stronger relationships with teachers, and he laments how rules, tests and overprotective parenting can squash kids' urge to experiment and learn from their own mistakes. There’s plenty here for anyone feeling stuck.
Kashdan talks about simple daily habits, like spending five minutes a day entering any situation with an attitude of openness, or changing the way you relate to harsh self-talk by reframing it as "I notice I'm having the thought that I'm not attractive" instead of accepting the thought as truth.
Curiosity, he argues, can even be used in therapy — for example, helping people with spider phobia clearly label all the different emotions they feel so they gain space to choose their response. He also acknowledges a "dark side" when curiosity turns into intrusive questioning or obsessive passion that pushes other people away. It’s a lively, sometimes funny, and very human look at how being a "curious explorer" can shape wellbeing across childhood, adulthood and old age.
Could a tiny shift toward curiosity change how you face your own challenges?
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