David E. AFG Male
David E. AFG Male

Recovery Radio Network

Al‑Anon member David E shares how childhood messages, family alcoholism and painful relationships led him to Al‑Anon, sponsorship and a new understanding of God and self. His story highlights shifting from fixing others to working on himself, while living with ongoing loss, separation and the steady support of a recovery community.

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1:02:33•20 Oct 2026

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David E: From "I'll Be Okay If You're Okay" to True Al‑Anon Recovery

Episode Overview

Alcoholism is described as a family disease and an "internal spiritual malady", affecting those around the drinker even when alcohol is not present.
Trying to fix or cushion the alcoholic’s pain can delay their own desire for sobriety, while Al‑Anon focuses on members changing themselves instead.
A structured approach with meetings, sponsorship, daily calls, reading the AA Big Book and praying on one’s knees is presented as a practical path to recovery.
The Steps are framed as "solutions to every problem", with the missing "we" reminding members they never have to do recovery alone.
Faith shifts from treating God as a co‑pilot to trusting a Higher Power’s timing, even when circumstances and relationships remain painful or uncertain.

“When I becomes we, ill becomes well.”

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This talk from the Recovery Radio Network follows David Edelfeld, a self-described "very grateful Al‑Anon", as he shares a story that’s equal parts heartbreaking, funny and deeply honest. From early childhood, David thought of himself as “among the chosen” after learning he was adopted, yet he also grew up believing his worth depended on how others felt about him.

That mix of feeling both special and deeply flawed sets the stage for years of people‑pleasing, perfectionism and a powerful need to be loved. You’ll hear how his family’s untreated alcoholism, his mother’s eventual recovery in AA, and his own struggles with sexuality all fed into what he calls his "Al‑Anon‑ism" long before he ever attended a meeting.

David walks through a string of intense relationships, including a marriage to an alcoholic partner marked by violence, broken furniture and broken fingers, where his motto quietly became, "I'll be okay if you're okay." When the pain finally became too much, a sober friend pointed him to Al‑Anon. He arrives sceptical, yet one tiny "coincidence" at his first meeting keeps him coming back.

With warmth and humour, he talks about getting a sponsor who insisted on meetings, daily calls, reading the AA Big Book with “drinking” replaced by “thinking”, praying on his knees and doing service. Over time, David shifts from trying to fix the alcoholic to working on himself, learning about powerlessness, choices and a God he can depend on rather than direct.

He also shares deeply personal moments of loss, caring for both parents at the end of their lives, and continuing his own recovery while living separated under the same roof as his husband. Through it all, his message is simple: "When I becomes we, ill becomes well." Maybe the question is, where could that “we” make a difference for you today?

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