Dear Sexual Assault Survivor - Resilience & Relationships (R&R) - Stephanie Olson and Rebecca SaundersDear Sexual Assault Survivor - Resilience & Relationships (R&R) - Stephanie Olson and Rebecca Saunders
Resilience in Life and Leadership
Sexual assault survivors Stephanie Olson and Rebecca Saunders speak directly to fellow survivors about blame, support, identity and long-term healing. They emphasise that it is not the survivor’s fault, that safety and choice matter, and that a full life extends far beyond the trauma experienced.
19:21•1 Apr 2026
Dear Sexual Assault Survivor: A Heartfelt Talk on Blame, Healing and Identity
Episode Overview
- What happened is not the survivor’s fault, regardless of circumstances, timing of disclosure, or relationship to the abuser.
- Find at least one trusted person to talk to, and if someone doesn’t believe or support you, keep telling others until you find someone who does.
- You do not owe anyone your story, and you are not required to become a public advocate or make your trauma your identity.
- Prioritise safety and personal choice when dealing with ongoing contact with an abuser, especially in complex situations like co-parenting.
- Healing can take a long time and may involve unexpected triggers; give yourself grace and remember that you did the best you could at the time.
“"What happened to you is not your fault, and we believe you."”
What emotional and inspiring tales of recovery are out there? This R&R conversation brings together Stephanie Olson and Rebecca Saunders, both sexual assault survivors, speaking directly to anyone who has lived through similar trauma. The tone is gentle, warm and sometimes blunt in the best possible way, cutting through shame and confusion with practical reassurance.
From the very start, they hammer home one core message: "What happened to you is not your fault, and we believe you." Stephanie shares how she once blamed herself and struggled to even call her experience assault, while Rebecca talks about the “trash thoughts” that tell survivors they caused what happened. Together, they challenge victim blaming, whether it comes from others or from that harsh inner voice.
You’ll hear them talk about how assault can be carried out by strangers, partners, spouses, friends or family, and how that can create deep confusion, especially when everyone else thinks the abuser is a “great person”. They stress the importance of finding at least one safe person to talk to, and they make it very clear: if someone doesn’t listen or believe you, "tell until" you find someone who does.
The episode also looks at life after assault: dealing with ongoing contact with an abuser, especially in co-parenting situations; the pressure to share your story publicly; and the risk of turning "survivor" into your whole identity. Stephanie and Rebecca reassure survivors that they don’t owe anyone their story, don’t need to start a charity, and are allowed to live a quiet, ordinary life if that’s what feels right.
Throughout, they keep coming back to self-compassion, long-term healing, and the reminder that you did the best you could at the time. Anyone feeling isolated, guilty or unsure about their experience may find this conversation feels like a much-needed, honest letter straight to their heart. What would it be like to let go of the blame you’ve been carrying and begin to treat yourself with the kindness you deserved all along?
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