Ep 127 : How Far Have You Gone Trying to Save Them?

Ep 127 : How Far Have You Gone Trying to Save Them?

What drives someone to seek a life without alcohol and addiction when the fallout is hitting the whole family? This episode of YOUR LIVING PROOF PODCAST zooms in on the heartbreaking question: "How far have you gone trying to save them?" Danny Deaton and his wife Emily speak directly to mums, dads and spouses who feel themselves unravelling while trying to rescue a loved one from addiction.

Instead of focusing only on the person using, they map out the "parallels" between the addict’s behaviour and the family’s reactions. You’ll hear Danny explain how addiction progresses from chasing a feeling to tolerance, loss of control, obsession and isolation.

Emily then shows how families start mirroring those same stages: chasing who their loved one used to be, tolerating behaviour they once swore they'd never accept, breaking their own promises about boundaries, becoming obsessed with checking locations and moods, and quietly withdrawing from friends, church and community. They tackle the much‑debated phrase "addiction is a family disease" and point out that the illness itself sits in the addict, but its effects spread through everyone around them.

Parents and spouses get separate attention, with Emily noting that "addiction can hijack some of our greatest parental strengths" and that a healthy marriage "does require two" people capable of showing up. Throughout, they stress that this isn’t about blame; it’s about finally seeing what addiction has done to you so you can start changing your part. The episode builds towards a challenge: families don’t have to wait for their loved one to recover before they begin their own recovery.

As Danny puts it, "There’s actually so much you can do." They close with a family‑focused serenity prayer, inviting you to shift from trying to fix them to reclaiming yourself. If you’ve ever thought, "I never in a million years thought I’d do that because of their addiction," this conversation might be the turning point you’ve been hoping for.