Episode 49: Episode 9 March 30th 2021 Robin Williams, Deadpool & Barak ObamaEpisode 49: Episode 9 March 30th 2021 Robin Williams, Deadpool & Barak Obama
The Addicted to Love Podcast
There was a glitch in the Matrix and a handful of episodes got deleted. Here they are with the or...
40:40•27 Mar 2022
Enneagram Types, Broken Wrists and Rebuilding Love in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Change in a relationship can begin when both partners openly state what they want and agree to work towards it together.
- Surface‑level relationships can look strong while still failing to meet deeper needs, so honest conversations are crucial.
- Dating with clear non‑negotiables and shared core beliefs, rather than chasing a ‘soulmate’, can lead to healthier connections.
- Enneagram knowledge (especially types 7, 8 and 9) can help people understand personality patterns, including those that link to addiction or conflict.
- Being genuinely happy for others’ achievements, instead of slipping into comparison, can strengthen friendships and emotional health.
“Five years ago, we just decided that we were going to do it together.”
What can we learn from those who have battled addiction and stayed in their marriages? This chat with Doug and Stacey brings together humour, honesty and some solid relationship reality checks, all through the lens of recovery. They start with heartfelt gratitude for friends who’ve quietly supported their work, including a handwritten card that, in Stacey’s words, brought her to tears.
One comment hits home: someone says their story is “inspiring and therapeutic just for life relationships,” reminding anyone in recovery that sharing honestly can help more people than they realise. Doug recalls a friend saying, “Man, I want what you guys have,” and his instant reply: “I wanted what we have.
So five years ago, we just decided that we were going to do it together.” From there, they unpack how their marriage was once far from ideal, and how clear, sometimes uncomfortable conversations about what they wanted their future to look like helped them rebuild after substance abuse. They joke about “manifesting” their marriage, but keep it grounded: change is possible, but it’s hard, and sometimes couples still may not be a fit.
The episode shifts into dating advice for anyone wanting deeper, sober connections: look for shared core beliefs, especially around faith, be honest about non‑negotiables, and don’t obsess over finding a “soulmate.” Stacey laughs that she doesn’t believe there’s just one perfect person; instead, “you create what you want” with someone who can connect emotionally and spiritually.
Things lighten and geek out with Enneagram talk as they run through types 7, 8 and 9, linking them to Robin Williams, Deadpool and Barack Obama. Stacey owns her type 7 “enthusiast” energy and its risk for addiction and avoidance of hard feelings, while Doug relates to parts of type 8’s protective streak.
A broken wrist for their daughter and Doug’s quiet worry about painkillers adds a raw recovery moment, before they end by urging people to be genuinely proud of others’ successes. It’s a gentle reminder: who in your life could use a bit more of your cheerleading this week?
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