Episode 76 - The Dangerous Addiction Nobody Calls an AddictionEpisode 76 - The Dangerous Addiction Nobody Calls an Addiction
The Alcohol Recovery Show
Antonia Ryan talks about approval addiction and how relying on others for self-worth can undermine alcohol recovery, sharing practical steps to build inner self-esteem. The conversation focuses on everyday actions, kinder self-talk and recognising inherent value beyond praise or productivity.
12:24•10 Jul 2026
The Dangerous Addiction of Approval in Alcohol Recovery
Episode Overview
- External validation is unreliable; basing self-worth on others’ opinions leaves emotional wellbeing vulnerable.
- Self-esteem grows when actions align with personal values, not through constant approval or praise.
- Alcohol often hides deeper self-doubt, which becomes visible once drinking stops and must be addressed directly.
- Daily practices such as keeping promises to yourself, honouring effort, and kinder self-talk help build inner confidence.
- Recovery involves recognising that worth is inherent and does not depend on productivity, popularity or good moods.
“Your worth is not a popularity contest… Recovery is not about becoming worthy. It’s about discovering that you always were.”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? In this episode of The Alcohol Recovery Show, Antonia Ryan shines a light on a "dangerous addiction nobody calls an addiction"—approval addiction—and how it sits right at the heart of long-term alcohol recovery. Speaking directly to people in recovery who feel their mood rise and crash depending on likes, compliments or criticism, Antonia describes the experience as living on an "emotional stock market": "If someone praised us, we felt wonderful.
If someone criticised us, we felt crushed." She explains how, once alcohol is removed, many people replace the old shortcut to feeling okay with new ones—work success, being needed, spiritual achievements or even recovery milestones—while still outsourcing their self-worth to others. The episode centres on building self-esteem from the inside out. Antonia draws a sharp contrast between external validation and genuine self-respect: "Self-esteem grows when our actions match our values.
Not when everyone approves of us." She talks about those quiet wins in recovery—getting out of bed on a tough day, setting a boundary, choosing honesty—that never receive applause but slowly build solid inner confidence. You’ll hear three practical daily practices aimed at people rebuilding life after alcohol: keeping small promises to yourself, celebrating effort instead of perfection, and talking to yourself like someone you love.
Antonia also recommends Lewis David’s book *Stop Doubting Yourself* for anyone whose self-doubt, people-pleasing or fear of judgement is holding them back. The episode closes with a powerful reminder: "Your worth is not a popularity contest… Recovery is not about becoming worthy. It’s about discovering that you always were." If approval addiction, people-pleasing or shaky self-esteem feel familiar, this conversation might be the nudge you need to start sourcing your sense of worth from within.
What would change for you if your value no longer depended on anyone else’s opinion?
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