ESH: Beth R

ESH: Beth R

How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? Beth R’s share at the Primary Purpose Group gives a raw, funny, and very honest look at what that can sound like in real life. Beth, a second-grade teacher who jokes that her emotional growth "pretty much arrested" at eight or nine, talks through a life marked by discomfort, chaos, and a long struggle to accept that she is an alcoholic.

From drinking perfume at four to power-drinking in Switzerland and playing rugby just to fit in with heavy-drinking crowds, she lays out a history that many will recognise, even if the details differ. She describes growing up with a grandfather who died of alcoholism and how that picture of "the real alcoholic" made it easy to dismiss her own problem: she had a job, a mortgage, and all her teeth, so how bad could it be?

That illusion starts to crack as she shares about cutting, compulsive relationships, overdoses, and embezzlement, alongside periods of looking "super holy" while trying to fix alcoholism through church alone.

The turning point comes through a tough, humorous sponsor – a drug court judge – who quietly lets Beth hear herself: "I don’t drink because I need to… I drink for the effect." Guided into the Big Book, daily meetings, and real accountability, Beth moves from white chips taken out of spite to a genuine first step taken in fear of where her mind might go sober.

Her account of making heavy financial amends – including turning up with a cashier’s cheque, ready to face jail if needed – shows what practising the steps looks like beyond the slogans. She talks about learning to pray on bathroom floors, sponsoring other women, and slowly feeling human again. If you’ve ever wondered whether sobriety can include laughter, honesty, and second chances after some pretty ugly behaviour, Beth’s story might be one you’ll want to sit with.