Forgiveness Does Not Mean You Have To Trust Someone AgainForgiveness Does Not Mean You Have To Trust Someone Again
Cynthia Bailey-Rug
Cynthia Bailey-Rug explains why forgiving someone does not automatically mean trusting them again, using Christian teaching and biblical examples to separate the two. The episode focuses on wisdom, boundaries, and what real trust-building looks like after hurt or abuse.
4:23•5 Sept 2026
Forgive Without Forgetting: Why Trust Must Be Earned Again
Episode Overview
- Forgiveness and trust are separate: forgiving someone does not mean you must trust them again.
- Forgiveness is releasing resentment and the need for repayment, and does not depend on the offender’s apology or change.
- Trust must be earned through consistent honesty, responsibility, respect for boundaries, and lasting repentance.
- Scripture supports both forgiveness and wisdom, showing that broken trust can still carry consequences even when forgiveness is present.
- Keeping boundaries after forgiving someone is wise, not unloving, and helps prevent further harm from unsafe or unrepentant people.
“Forgiveness and trust are two entirely different concepts.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety and healing from abuse? This episode from Cynthia Bailey-Rug tackles a painful yet common pressure: being told that if you’ve really forgiven someone, you must trust them again. Speaking from a Christian perspective, Cynthia breaks down a myth that traps many survivors in guilt and toxic relationships.
She explains that, “Forgiveness and trust are two entirely different concepts,” and that while they can work together in healthy relationships, one doesn’t automatically create the other. You’ll hear a clear, practical definition of forgiveness: it’s something God commands because it “frees our hearts from the burden of resentment.” Forgiveness, as she puts it, is “releasing the offender from the obligation of making things right with you,” choosing not to seek revenge or cling to bitterness.
Crucially, she stresses that forgiveness “requires nothing from the offender” — not an apology, not change, not even an admission of harm. Trust, on the other hand, must be earned. Cynthia describes trust as confidence in someone who has shown themselves to be honest, dependable, and safe over time. She lists markers of real trustworthiness: truthfulness, responsibility, respect for boundaries, and genuine repentance that leads to lasting change.
Empty words, short-term improvements, and anger at your caution all signal that trust is still broken. Grounded in passages like Matthew 10:16 and Acts 15:36–40, this episode speaks directly to anyone shamed for keeping boundaries after abuse or betrayal. Cynthia reminds listeners that God calls them to forgive, but not to pretend “dangerous people are safe.” You can release someone into God’s hands while also guarding your heart with wisdom and discernment.
If you’ve ever wondered whether guarding your boundaries makes you unforgiving, this gentle, straightforward teaching might help you breathe a little easier and see both forgiveness and wisdom in a new light.
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