Forgiveness, Part 1 (Episode 2 - Archive)Forgiveness, Part 1 (Episode 2 - Archive)
Relational Recovery
Wes Thompson and Austin Hill talk about what forgiveness really means in addiction recovery, separating it from consequences and punishment. They focus on self-forgiveness, Christian ideas of redemption, and how letting go of resentment can break the shame cycle and help relationships heal.
6:42•27 Sept 2026
Forgiveness, Consequences, and Self-Hatred in Recovery
Episode Overview
- Forgiveness and consequences are separate issues; someone can be forgiven while still facing limits on trust and responsibility.
- A strong sense of justice can easily turn into resentment when people hurt or disappoint us.
- Self-forgiveness is crucial in recovery, as ongoing anger at oneself can drive a return to addictive behaviour.
- Shame over past harms to loved ones often feeds a “sick cycle” of using to escape those painful feelings.
- From a Christian perspective, forgiveness and the chance for redemption can open the door to restored relationships and deeper connection.
“"There’s a difference between forgiving that person and there being consequences."”
What insights can experts and survivors share about addiction? This archived conversation from Relational Recovery zooms in on forgiveness, especially for those walking through addiction and healing. Host Wes Thompson and co-host Austin Hill talk honestly about the tension between forgiveness and consequences. Wes shares a story from his time as a pastor, when someone asked whether a man with a serious sexual offence in his past should be given keys to the church.
His response shows the heart of the episode: there’s a difference between forgiving someone and handing them full trust and responsibility again. As he puts it, some behaviours "require consequence. And so that's different than forgiveness." From there, they unpack why forgiveness feels so difficult. They link it to our deep drive for justice and fairness, and how easily that can slide into resentment.
Something as simple as someone saying they’ll do something and then not doing it can plant anger; the question they keep coming back to is: what do you do with that anger? For people in recovery, the conversation becomes especially raw around self-forgiveness.
They describe the “sick cycle” where shame over past actions, like hurting loved ones while in addiction, fuels more using: being angry at yourself feels so unbearable that you return to the very behaviour that caused the guilt. Coming from a Christian framework, Wes and Austin reflect on why followers of Jesus "should be the most forgiving" and why redemption matters so much.
They talk about the scary but beautiful possibility of relationships being restored when someone knows they’ve messed up, is forgiven, and can reconnect. Forgiveness, they suggest, is one way people can grow closer "because of the harm that we've done to each other in spite of the harm we've done." If you’re wrestling with guilt, resentment, or what forgiveness should look like in recovery, this conversation might help you ask kinder questions of yourself and others.
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.