GrahamGraham
Grieving Overdose Death
Wesley shares the story of her son Graham’s life, addiction, sexuality and adoption, and speaks about his accidental overdose and the grief that followed. She reflects on anticipatory grief, systemic failures and the ways she now copes while keeping his memory present.
41:04•24 Apr 2026
Remembering Graham: A Mother’s Story of Overdose, Grief and Love
Episode Overview
- Grief for a child who dies from overdose can start years earlier as anticipatory grief, especially during repeated crises and late-night calls.
- Early trauma, adoption issues, bullying for being gay and ADHD all played a role in Graham’s struggles with substances.
- Wesley emphasises that talking openly about a child who has died helps keep their memory present and reduces shame.
- Writing, advocacy and connecting with others in similar situations can provide structure and meaning after a child’s death.
- She encourages newly bereaved parents to seek specialist grief support, find others with shared experiences, and keep caring for their own health.
“I don’t think grief is linear. I think there’s no time period. But I think as a parent, you almost should grieve. I mean, it’s your child.”
This episode sheds light on the personal battles against addiction and the heartbreak left behind when a loved one dies from an overdose. Here, Susan Clare speaks with Wesley about her son Graham, who died at 33 from an accidental overdose, and together they piece through his life with painful honesty and a lot of love.
You’ll hear about Graham as a bright, witty, stylish kid who loved family gatherings, trips to Florida, cooking elaborate meals and watching Wheel of Fortune. Wesley shares how things shifted in middle school when Graham realised he was gay, began being bullied, and started drinking and using drugs with a new crowd. She also talks about the impact of his adoption history, early trauma, and ADHD, all stacked on top of each other.
Wesley doesn’t shy away from the hard parts – the rehabs that didn’t stick, the system failures, and the anticipatory dread of late-night phone calls. She describes "anticipatory grief" as living in that constant in-between space where "you’re just jarring yourself for the fact that he’s died". Her story shows how complicated grief can be when addiction, sexuality, adoption and stigma are all mixed together. There’s also a hopeful thread.
Wesley explains how writing helps her, including co-authoring a book about having a gay child and running a support-focused Facebook group about kids and drugs. She stresses the importance of talking about the child who died: "I think the more you talk about it, the better off you are," she says, and she always includes Graham when people ask how many children she has.
This conversation may resonate with parents, siblings and carers who feel isolated in their loss, especially when overdose and LGBTQ+ issues are involved. It gently asks: how can you keep your child’s memory alive while still finding a way to keep going?
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