Grief, Sobriety (and Parquet Flooring) with Victoria EmesGrief, Sobriety (and Parquet Flooring) with Victoria Emes
Sober Awkward
Can you face losing someone you love without reaching for a drink?
59:59•8 Nov 2026
Grief, Grey-Area Drinking and Sexy Parquet Floors with Victoria Emes
Episode Overview
- Stopping drinking before a major loss can prevent grief from becoming intertwined with self-destructive coping.
- Grey-area drinking can be harmful even without daily use or obvious rock bottom moments.
- Handling funerals, wakes and family logistics sober allows you to be present and actually remember the day.
- Tools like journals, podcasts and supportive friends help cement early sobriety during emotionally intense times.
- Exercise and strength training can provide a healthier source of escape, endorphins and structure in recovery.
“I knew if I carry on like this, I cannot cope with this grief… I cannot drink. That this just, it's not even an option now.”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? In this episode of Sober Awkward, comedian, podcaster and FitBtch co-founder Victoria Emes joins host Victoria Vanstone for a raw but funny chat about grief, booze and why parquet flooring is unexpectedly sexy. You’ll hear Victoria Emes describe herself as a “grey area drinker” – no dramatic rock bottom, just alcohol quietly taking up more and more space in her head.
Everything shifted when her dad, artist and animator Ian Eames, was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukaemia and given months to live. Faced with that reality, she decided, "I cannot drink. That this just, it's not even an option now. I cannot drink," and stopped before he died. The conversation goes deep into what it’s like to lose a parent while sober.
Victoria talks about those dark drinking nights where grief and alcohol mixed badly, and contrasts them with organising her dad’s funeral, handling "death admin" and getting through the wake without a drink in her hand. She shares how a simple moment at the prosecco table was interrupted by a friend saying, "Why would you do that? Look how far you've come," and how those tiny interventions helped her stay alcohol-free.
There’s plenty here for anyone worried about coping with future loss without alcohol. Victoria argues that grief "is the price of having really loved someone" and that sobriety doesn’t soften the pain, but lets you actually feel it and move with it instead of pushing it down with wine. She also talks about early sobriety tricks, vaping as a less-destructive “habit substitute”, using journals and podcasts, and swapping hangovers for strength training and building her midlife-focused fitness platform.
If you’ve ever wondered how you’d handle the worst days of your life without a drink, this honest, sweary and surprisingly hopeful chat might be exactly what you need. How do you want to show up when those big moments come?
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