He Drank for 25 Years… And Didn’t Recognize Himself AnymoreHe Drank for 25 Years… And Didn’t Recognize Himself Anymore
Sober Motivation: Sharing Sobriety Stories
Paul looks back on 25 years of heavy drinking rooted in childhood chaos and trauma, and how a quiet but firm decision to stop changed everything. He talks about denial, anxiety, blackouts and the support that helped him build a calmer, more genuine life without alcohol.
1:03:49•7 Apr 2026
He Drank for 25 Years and Finally Chose Himself
Episode Overview
- Early exposure to alcohol and childhood abuse led Paul to use drink and drugs as a way to numb pain and feel accepted from a very young age.
- Despite fights, arrests and near-jail time, he convinced himself things were fine because he could work, pay bills and keep the party going.
- Covid intensified his drinking into daily red wine and severe anxiety, with online AA used mainly to manage symptoms rather than to stop.
- His decision to quit came quietly after seeing himself become abusive at home, mirroring behaviour he had feared growing up.
- Long-term sobriety has been supported by counselling, nature walks, boxing coaching, faith and sober communities, plus a strong focus on sharing openly instead of hiding.
“"Whether it's your first time, your seventh or your 700th time, just keep trying and share those moments with people because you'd be really, really surprised how relatable they are."”
What remarkable journeys have people faced head-on against addiction? This conversation between Brad and his guest Paul gives a brutally honest look at what 25 years of drinking can really look like when everything on the outside appears "fine". Paul talks about growing up in a chaotic, single-parent home in England where alcohol was everywhere – christenings, weddings, parties – and how he was drinking and even stealing vodka by the time he was 12.
He shares deeply painful memories of childhood sexual abuse and explains how alcohol became the easiest way to "blank it out with whatever I could". You’ll hear how that early chaos turned into weed, hard partying, violence, and almost going to prison, then later into work, kids, holidays and rugby – with alcohol still quietly running the show.
Paul describes how, even while holding down a job and paying his bills, he was drinking at a level where "there wasn't that peace, that inner peace. There was a real sadness there that I wasn't able to deal with." Covid supercharged things: daytime red wine, boxes of wine delivered, cameras off on work calls, anxiety so bad he needed a drink to steady himself.
He tried AA online but admits, "I went, and as soon as I finished, I'd go straight back to the pub." The turning point came after years of blackouts, venomous behaviour at home, and the terrifying realisation he was becoming the abusive man he’d feared as a child. Since then, Paul’s stayed alcohol-free for just over two years, leaning on counselling, walking mountains, boxing coaching, church and sober communities.
His message is simple and kind: "Whether it's your first time, your seventh or your 700th time, just keep trying and share those moments with people." If you’ve ever wondered whether things are "bad enough" to stop, Paul’s story might get you asking a different question: what kind of life do you actually want?
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