He Shot Blue Ecstasy, Boofed It & Went to Work: Jed Payne on Relapse, Lies, Shame & One Year BackHe Shot Blue Ecstasy, Boofed It & Went to Work: Jed Payne on Relapse, Lies, Shame & One Year Back
Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction
Timestamps 00:00 — “You Are a Triumph” 01:34 — Dave responds to concern that he seems “off” 02:20 — Five days of Dopey, Jason Mewes and surrendering the pursuit 03:53 — DopeyCon updates: Hank Azaria, Jason Biggs, Jerry Stahl and more 05:18 — JD’s three-day cocaine binge in a Mississippi trailer 08:37 — A massive shot leaves JD conscious but unable to move 10:20 — JD recovers—and immediately smokes more crack 11:52 — Dopey Nation remembers Annie Ellie and Hot Wheels 15:36 — Summer grief and the people Dopey has lost 18:43 — Jed Payne returns 25:16 — Jed approaches one year sober after his secret relapse 27:44 — Rehab, sober living, bedbugs and becoming a “broista” 30:14 — Why getting sober again can be harder when you’re older 32:42 — Rebuilding his family, finances and daily responsibilities 34:15 — An addiction counselor goes back to treatment with former clients 35:01 — Shame, humility and the fear of losing credibility 37:32 — The many layers of deception during Jed’s relapse 41:34 — How working in treatment can endanger clinicians in recovery 43:47 — The support system Jed wishes he had before relapsing 45:00 — How CBD and microdosing opened the door 47:10 — Jed admits his “microdose” was really getting high 48:21 — Porn, shame spirals and relapse 49:28 — Do recovery professionals need their own recovery program? 50:55 — Why clinicians need a safe place to struggle 53:12 — Resentment and exploitation inside the treatment industry 54:42 — Introducing “Drugs in Your Butt” 55:30 — Jed boofs two blue ecstasy pills 57:55 — Shooting cocaine beside a police officer 59:18 — Injecting bright-blue ecstasy in a gas-station bathroom 1:01:15 — The boofed pills activate while Jed works in a restaurant 1:02:05 — Rolling with both hands inside a tub of marinara sauce 1:03:20 — 7-OH, smoke-shop opioids and unintended consequences 1:08:12 — Jed’s experience with Suboxone and Sublocade 1:10:55 — Why one year sober doesn’t immediately restore the brain 1:13:34 — Staying present and finding purpose at the coffee shop 1:16:02 — Rebuilding trust by becoming a man of his word 1:18:20 — Dopey Day and toodles for Chris
1:21:44•12 Aug 2026
Relapse, Crack Binges and One Year Back: Jed Payne’s Messy Return to Recovery
Episode Overview
- Cocaine overdoses can involve full-body paralysis while remaining conscious, showing how physically dangerous binges can become.
- Addicts often return to using immediately after a near‑death experience, highlighting the power of compulsion over logic.
- Relapsing as a counsellor brings intense shame and mistrust, making honesty and consistent small actions crucial to rebuild credibility.
- Medication like Suboxone can be a bridge out of active addiction, but coming off it may take many months before the brain feels stable again.
- Focusing on the present moment and simple acts of service — at work, in family life, and in recovery — can make staying sober more manageable.
“We overdose on crack… and then we go back for more crack because that's what makes us feel better until it doesn't make us feel better.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This raw and funny instalment of Dopey brings together wild drug stories, honest admissions of relapse, and the everyday grind of staying clean. Things kick off with Dave reading a heartfelt message from James D. Hart (JD), who worries Dave seems "a little off". JD’s concern sets the tone: this is a space where dopes look out for each other, even while laughing at the madness of addiction.
After his friend nurses him back with water and a bit of food, JD stands up and, in classic addict logic, immediately loads “the fattest fucking crack hit ever.” As Dave sums it up: "We overdose on crack… and then we go back for more crack because that's what makes us feel better until it doesn't make us feel better." From there, the episode shifts to grief and remembrance, with Dave reading community comments about fallen dopes like Annie Ellie and Brian “Hot Wheels” Connelly.
JD’s voicemail then lands like a brick — a three‑day cocaine and crack binge in a Mississippi trailer, no food or water, and a terrifying cocaine overdose where he’s conscious but completely unable to move. It’s equal parts dark comedy and summer sadness, showing how addiction stories carry both hilarity and heartbreak. Then Jed Payne returns, talking candidly about secret relapse, shame, and almost one year back sober.
He jokes about being called “fossil fuel” by teenage co‑workers, but doesn’t dodge the serious stuff: losing credibility as a counsellor, microdosing mushrooms, long‑term Suboxone use, and the humbling climb back through rehab, sober living, and a coffee‑shop job. Jed focuses on rebuilding trust through small, consistent actions and staying present — whether that’s making someone’s day at the drive‑thru or showing up on time for his daughter.
If you’re juggling relapse fears, professional roles in recovery, or just want to feel less alone in the chaos, this episode might be the honest, darkly funny nudge you need. What part of your own story are you ready to be more honest about today?
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