Healing the Self (IFS)Healing the Self (IFS)
Narcissism Recovery Podcast
Yitz Epstein explains the Internal Family Systems model and how recognising and accepting all inner parts can shift trauma, narcissistic abuse and self-sabotage. The episode focuses on the core self as a source of compassion and balance, guiding fragmented parts back into wholeness.
17:51•23 Jul 2026
Healing the Self: Making Peace with Your Inner Parts
Episode Overview
- Every inner part, even the destructive ones, has a protective intention and is not inherently bad.
- Healing involves unburdening protectors and exiles so they can return to balanced, healthy roles.
- The core self is calm, compassionate and unbreakable, and is meant to lead all other parts.
- Unprocessed inner fragments often drive attraction to toxic, narcissistic and enmeshed relationships.
- Inner peace grows as all parts are accepted, heard and integrated into a cooperative inner system.
“Who you truly are is compassion, is love, is peace, is joy… so when you're acting out of pain, reactively, destructively, that is not who you are.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey and healing from abuse? This Narcissism Recovery Podcast episode zooms in on Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how it can reshape the way you see yourself after narcissistic abuse, trauma and deeply rooted childhood wounds. Yitz Epstein breaks down the IFS model inspired by Richard C.
Schwartz’s book *No Bad Parts*, explaining that your inner world is made up of different "parts" – protectors, firefighters and exiles – all trying their best to keep you safe, even when their methods look chaotic or self-destructive. You’ll hear how managers (like the inner critic or perfectionist) try to keep everything under control, while firefighters rush in with numbing behaviours, rage or addictions when pain bursts through the surface.
A central theme is that none of these parts are "bad". They’re simply burdened by trauma and stuck in extreme roles. Yitz explains that healing means "unburdening" them and allowing a calm, wise inner core – the "self" – to take the lead. He describes this core self as "unbreakable, untraumatizable, unabusable" and reminds you that destructive reactions don’t define who you truly are. The episode also links inner fragmentation to toxic relationship patterns, including narcissistic dynamics.
Those exiled parts inside often reach for connection in others, which can pull you into unhealthy enmeshment and repeated self-sabotage. Through IFS-style meditations and compassionate inner dialogue, these lost fragments can be heard, understood and gently invited back into a balanced inner system. Yitz closes by stressing that your true nature is compassion, love, peace and joy, and that every part of you is worthy of acceptance.
If you’re wrestling with shame, triggers or confusing behaviour, this conversation offers a hopeful frame: what if nothing inside you is the enemy, and every part just needs a bit of your attention and care?
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