How The Refuge Began (Episode 5)

How The Refuge Began (Episode 5)

What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? This conversation from Relational Recovery brings together host Wes Thompson, co-host Austin Hill, and long-time leader Tom as they talk honestly about the birth and heart of The Refuge, a Christian recovery ministry for men. Tom shares some of the toughest moments from the early years, especially the pain of seeing men leave badly or lose their lives.

He explains how easy it is to slip into trying to "fix" people and slide into codependency, warning that "both of you are going down together" if you take on too much. Instead, his anchor has been a deep sense of calling and trust in God, summed up in his steady focus on "seek ye first the kingdom of God" and letting God handle the rest.

You’ll also hear how the men in the programme haven’t just been helped by The Refuge – they’ve shaped it. Tom admits that watching men arrive broken, yet become honest, transparent, and bold in their faith, challenged him personally: the very things he was preaching, they were actually doing. He says he saw them as "the superstars of the kingdom" and often felt he had to catch up to their example.

Looking at The Refuge today, Tom talks passionately about what he hopes never changes: a biblical focus on Christ and a culture of unconditional love and acceptance. He shares moving stories of quiet, unseen service – like a friend who’s driven an alumnus to parole appointments every two weeks for two years – as the kind of love he never wants the ministry to lose.

As Tom puts it, "It's about the men, not the ministry," and keeping men’s transformation through Christ at the centre is what he believes makes real change possible. If you’re interested in faith-based recovery, or you work with people in addiction, this candid chat might spark some questions about what truly keeps hope alive.