How to be addicted to people with Elizabeth Gilbert

How to be addicted to people with Elizabeth Gilbert

What drives someone to seek a life without people-pleasing, chaos and obsession masquerading as love? This conversation between author Elizabeth Gilbert and host A.J. Daulerio sits right in that uncomfortable, painfully honest space. Centred on Gilbert’s sex and love addiction, the chat pulls apart what it means to be “addicted to people”.

She explains, in clear, relatable language, how she used relationships just like substances: “a lifetime pattern of using people the way other people use drugs and alcohol.” If you’ve ever outsourced your self-worth to someone else, you’ll probably wince in recognition. You’ll hear her talk through making amends with ex-partners, writing her memoir *All the Way to the River*, and doing it after *Eat Pray Love* made her famous.

There’s real tension in walking into 12-step rooms as a household name and then needing to be “just another bozo on the bus” who’s falling apart like everyone else. The episode leans heavily into practical recovery: 12-step programmes (SLAA, ACA, Al‑Anon, CODA), daily routines like two-way prayer, step work, and instant resentment inventories. Gilbert and Daulerio swap details of morning practices, boundary-setting experiments, and what happens when you say yes too fast and then realise your body is screaming no.

Money, fame and ambition show up too, but not as glossy success stories. Instead, Gilbert talks about giving away huge sums from *Eat Pray Love*, seeing how that tied into her codependency, and why she now has a therapist–financial advisor combo and hard limits around rescuing others. This episode is especially useful for anyone who’s sober from substances but still stuck in destructive relationships, or who suspects their real drug of choice has always been people.

It might leave you asking: where am I still expecting someone else to be my fix?