How to Know If You Can Trust ThemHow to Know If You Can Trust Them
Accidentally Intentional
Zoe Asher shares practical signs she uses to decide whether someone is trustworthy, from how they handle hard moments to how they talk about others. The episode focuses on taking wise relational risks, setting boundaries, and becoming the kind of friend who can be trusted in return.
16:45•18 Jun 2026
How to Tell If Someone Has Truly Earned Your Trust
Episode Overview
- Trust always involves risk; you have to offer a little trust to see how someone handles it.
- Trustworthy people lean in during hard times and are willing to share their own struggles over time.
- Clear, expressed boundaries and how others respond to them are strong indicators of character.
- Generosity that comes without strings, scorekeeping, or demands for praise signals genuine care.
- People who own specific mistakes and avoid a constant victim mindset are far more reliable for long-term friendship.
“Every relationship is a risk. And I believe it is a risk worth taking and you are worth the risk of it too.”
How do you figure out if someone deserves a front-row seat in your life? This episode of Accidentally Intentional, hosted by friendship coach Zoe Asher, zooms in on one core question: how to tell if someone is genuinely trustworthy. Zoe draws on years of sharing over 500 meals with strangers and coaching adults on friendships to share the clues she watches for.
She stresses that, "In order to find out if someone can be trusted, 100 out of 100 times, it's going to require a risk"—you have to trust a little to see what someone does with that trust. You’ll hear her break trust down into practical, everyday signs rather than vague feelings. She talks about people who lean in rather than pull away when life gets messy, and the importance of mutual vulnerability instead of one-sided oversharing.
Respect for clearly stated boundaries is huge for her; after one person told her, "When you shared your boundaries, it made me want to break them," Zoe knew instantly they had no future in her life. Zoe also focuses on generosity without strings attached—friends who offer time, listening, or help without later demanding praise or using it as leverage.
How someone talks about others is another key marker: constant gossip or "they're dead to me" reactions are red flags, especially if you're trying to build stable, healing relationships after past hurt. She goes on to contrast people who own their mistakes with those who only say "I take full responsibility" but can’t name what they did wrong, linking this to a stuck victim mindset versus a growth-focused, "hero" approach.
For anyone rebuilding trust—whether after relational trauma, addiction, or simply years of disappointment—Zoe’s message lands with compassion and challenge: "Every relationship is a risk. And I believe it is a risk worth taking and you are worth the risk of it too." If you’re ready to rethink who gets close to you, and who doesn’t, this conversation might be the reality check you’ve been waiting for.
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.